they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don’t need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.

Do you actually want these things as well or do you just feel inferior when comparing your life to theirs?

You have more money stashed than the majority of people in the US. You could do practically anything you wanted to with enough conviction and a steady job and that much in savings.

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your past self. Life isn’t a competition, you’re meant to find joy within it. That’s where I would start if I were you.

Most of the indicators you’re talking about are, in my opinion, superficial markers of adulthood. Do you show up for the people you care about? Do you fulfill your commitments? Do you look for opportunities to grow and improve? Do you do the hard thing you need to do instead of the easy thing?

These are the traits that make you an adult, not how many kids you have or whether you own or rent housing. You can have 10 kids or none and still be an adult. You can own, rent, or live in your parents’ basement and still be an adult. You can’t be making promises you don’t keep or always taking the easy way out and be an adult. Those other things are all vanity metrics.

First just take that 100k of rainy day funds and get it into a high yield savings account at like 3-4% APY - that should at least give some solace that it’s not evaporating at the rate of inflation.

Hey Grok, define “midlife crisis of the mainstream male”

scnr, please go to therapy! You deserve to be happy.

If you have 100k saved in liquid cash, you definitely need to be investing that in broad scale index funds. Keeping it liquid means inflation is going to be eating away at your money over time, which is really not good. The whole market is pretty out of balance due to AI, but it’s better to get in now rather than trying to wait and see. You have time to recover from market crashes, just don’t panic sell if the market crashes.

If financial stuff isn’t your thing, you can also save for retirement in prefabbed vehicles called Target-Date Funds. These are kinda annoying as they have a decent amount of fees, but you basically set a retirement goal date, and they will automatically rebalance more and more conservatively over time. However, you are at a bit of a disadvantage if you start at 43. I’d recommend saving aggressively if you can afford to.

Renting vs buying is always a thing, and it highly depends where you live. Having money for a down payment is good, but I’d consider what 100k invested right now would do for you until you are 80 vs what a house would do for you instead. 40 years of interest could be better than a significant debt load, even with several market crashes.

Fwiw, if you don’t have a spouse or kids, I don’t really see much value in a house. Rent a cheap one bed and laugh all the way to the bank when a water pipe breaks and you don’t have to cover 75k in water damage.

You probably need to figure out what do you want. There is nothing wrong to be alone, not have family or kids. Unless it bothers you. There is nothing wrong to rent a home. Unless it bothers you. Figure out what you want, how the future in which you want to leave looks like. If you can’t, maybe talking to a psychologist worth a try - decide what problem you are trying to solve, book a few sessions, see if that moves you towards your better self.

Financially, I agree with many on this thread - keeping all $100k on a savings account is one of the worst things to do with your money. Keep a couple of months of expenses on savings, put the rest to work. CDs are mostly safe, and help offset the inflation. Buying home isn’t a bad option, and if it’s just a place for you to live, don’t consider it an investment depends on location, but you’ll likely save on monthly payments vs rent.

Once you figure out what you want from your life, talk to a financial advisor to set realistic financial goals and decide on home purchase or investments.

I’m older than you and unmarried, no kids, renting. I don’t feel like a kid, though. I feel old. I understand being scared of retiring without enough, but if you can find a small house in good condition at a reasonable price, I think it would be okay to take on a mortgage with as much as you’ve saved. You shouldn’t ask your dad for financial help, though, IMO. Money complicates relationships. Don’t add feeling beholden to feeling unloved.

The difference between you an a teenager is 20something years of life experience. Don’t infantalise yourself

You don’t sound atypical to me. The millennial generation is buying houses later and starting families later, or not able or willing to do either one. $100k in the bank is doing far better than most your age. At least in the US, something like 50% of people are living paycheck to paycheck, and wouldn’t be able to pay a $1000 emergency expense.

Don’t take this as financial advice, but it seems there is evidence that all the housing speculation is nearing an end. There is a lot of supply that is currently just being sat on by companies who are hoping demand catches up again. But we’re starting to see a rise in foreclosure rates, and it’s suspected to go up through the year.

Many people in their 30s-40s have instead been spending their money on things like pokemon and sports betting. I recommend going to your bank or credit union and just putting the money in some kind of high yield savings account for now. Again, not financial advice, but I would not buy a house right now.

The potential exception would be if trump deliberately triggers mass inflation in an attempt to “offset” a market collapse. In which case…I don’t know how it shakes out in the end, but it can’t be good for anyone holding USD…

Bro I’m your age exactly and have less than a 1/10 of your savings, the world is your oyster with that kinda nest egg

Just turned 47. Divorced 15 years. Still single. I often feel the same way. Buying a house now in this market is insanity. Hopefully, real estate should crash again at some point.

You are doing very well. I got married at 42. It’s the only time I’ve been married and was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I love my spouse very much, but it was still a very big mistake. Don’t envy those people. Being lonely is still easier, and kids suck. Go get married and see how fast you save money then. You’ll be fucked.

I’d say you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. It’s rarely a fair comparison and it doesn’t help you much. It’s pretty pointless - there are 20-year old who have more money and success than you. It’s just how the world is, don’t fret what other people have. Think about what you have and whether you feel you have enough for yourself, personally.

As for the loneliness, that sounds like a more tangible issue. There are ways to deal with loneliness, but not any super easy ways. Being afraid of being alone is a good natural instinct - it’s your social human brain telling you to connect more with other people. Listen to your brain.

A lot of people spend a lot of time on an extrinsic search for intrinsic meaning. There isn’t one. The value and meaning of your life can only be self-determined. That feels impossibly heavy at first, but as you come to embrace it, there is an incredible freedom in it. If there is any determinant of adulthood, that’s it - to be self-defined. To that end, there are no “rules” about what your life must look like - marriage, kids, home ownership, whatever else are all options, but not compulsory. It’s up to you to determine what it is that you actually want.

The other marker of adulthood, I think, is to have come to terms with your childhood. It sounds like you think your father was given advantages that he hasn’t seen fit to pass on to you, and you understandably have some feelings about it. Family of origin issues can really cloud your mind until you sort through and come to terms with them. Talking to a therapist about it (or bar that, reading some books on the subject) could be of some value. A lot of people go through their lives reenacting patterns they observed in their parents or projecting their unmet needs from childhood onto others, to their own detriment. This is work that you have to do yourself; no one can “fix” you.

Comparison will not get you anywhere. Consider who you want to be, and then start taking steps in that direction. Once you have set out on that journey, you may encounter others on their own journeys or you may not, but you won’t have your self-worth riding on the outcome.

Break your boy off a piece of the rapidly inflating contents of that bank account and I’ll fill you in on how to get past that feeling and reach a more whole state of being.

E: I am being %100 deadass. This post is not a joke or attempt to get “free” money. I know exactly what you’re describing and when you’re ready I’ll help you figure out why you specifically are experiencing it.