After many years I’m finally trying to move toward transitioning ,but there’s just so much to do that I don’t really know where or even how to start.
I fear that going directly into HRT without doing anything else before will just make things harder. That I should get laser or voice training first or I don’t know what else. I fear that doing it “wrong” will just make me feel awful and despite the mirror even more and push me back further into the “I don’t need it” thing.
I also have no idea of what is the current standard for HRT or what to expect and whenever I find myself thinking all of these I end up just not looking for doctors or more info.
Any help?
I wish I’d started HRT sooner. If you feel certain, start it; you’ll know fairly quickly if it’s not for you. And it takes sooooo long for any changes whatsoever.
I’ve been on it since November of 2025, and I’ve only experience some emotional changes, minimal breast development, and other, more mild physical changes (which could be placebo; not sure).
During this time (and kinda for a year—two years?—prior) I’ve worked on voice training, exploring presentation, and social transitioning (i.e. coming out to people).
I can, of course, stop the all of it at any time, since it’s all behavioral. Except HRT. The longer I live as a girl, the longer I become one. Every day, I become more certain of my decision, and every day, the changes caused by HRT increase.
Of course, this is just me: you do you.
Get a therapist though, if you can. They can make a world of difference. Also friends. They’re great too (even if they’re mostly online, like mine). Support is everything.
Have fun exploring! <3
cw: gender dysphoria, transphobia, self-hatred
Sometimes, I look into the mirror, and see a girl, and I love her. Those are the good days. On the bad ones, I see a freak, and I hate her. I misgender her, and call her “ugly”, and I mistreat her.
You’ll possibly feel the same way sometimes. But believe me: transitioning worth it. Be nice to the girl in the mirror. For me, okay? It’ll get better.
That’s is what I’m most afraid. I feel like seeing the “freak” in the mirror will be the straw that breaks me. I don’t know if I could take seeing the “maybe” turn into a very soundly “no”. I’ve always felt that trying something like clothes before anything else will just make me feel worse, I don’t know how to explain it, hehe. That’s what I fear the most.
If you’re brave, you’ll get to the other side, and you’ll be content. It’s hard, but not impossible. Self-love and physical / presentational transition are your new besties.
HRT is a multi year long process, that realistically is life long. You can’t start that too early imo.
I started HRT and laser at the same time, and am currently in the process of starting professional voice training now. I would recommend doing anything you can as soon as you can because it takes time to see results.
basically i would recommend you to just start taking the HRT. basically, you can always stop them or reduce the dosage if you don’t like the effects. so it’s not as if you really have to commit to it all at once. you can take 1 step, take them for a month, then decide whether you like the results so far.
So far, I’ve found that basically every action I’ve taken to transition has been worthwhile and made me feel better. I’m on HRT but still wear very “male” clothing and I have a low voice. The biggest progress I’ve made in my transition is have people refer to me as a girl and the HRT.
i went straight for hormones after having my sperm frozen. pretty much all i did before that was shave my arms and legs a few times. its working out well for me. i cant tell you just how good i felt when i felt my boobs start growing and got my first taste of gender euphoria. it was like i had never been happy before and finally felt it for the first time. theres no wrong way to transition, you can do things in any order you want and dont have to do anything you dont want to, you will still be trans enough and doing it right.
that said if you are interested in hormones you should know the changes they cause take the longest of any of the other changes you might make, so you might want to start sooner rather than later. keeping up with hormones doesnt take much effort so you can enjoy your body slowly changing while working on other things.
if you’re not sure what hormones to take or how they work you can peruse transfemscience. they go over a lot of the basics and provide references to supporting scientific literature for their information. i found injections to be the most conveniet and effective so went straight for those.
There is no wrong or right order, nor do you have to do ‘everything’. Do what makes you most comfortable with your gender.
Depending on your country, you may or may not need a diagnosis, or at least need access to DIY. That said, the few things I really would recommend:
- If you want the chance to have biological children of your own, then freeze your reproductive cells first. If you want to freeze after you’ve started HRT, you should get off HRT for a few months, which can give you menopausal symptoms, hence why: freeze before HRT.
- Start HRT after freezing; I would suggest you look at this list. Don’t take the doctor’s advice regarding dosing (they often give way too low doses), go instead for what transfem science says. Here, especially Table 5 is relevant.
If you wish to reduce body hair, you can laser before or during HRT. In my case I did it before, since you need multiple sessions to laser it all away. I felt that the ‘intermediate’ period between starting and passing is then easier, since your skin is already smooth.
For voice training, you can do that anytime. I started just before E, again to make the intermediate period easier.
Depends on the person but for me it helped to tackle one thing at a time. Voice training was free so I just kinda worked on that while figuring out plans for other stuff.
