somebody suggested I’m in the middle of an existential crisis. Just read my last post.
Fine, seems to be true.
Do people snap out of this?
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Not a solution but: physical touch, affection and quality time with loved ones is a very nice and effective way to feel a bit better (even if just for a brief moment), and to ground yourself back into the “here and now”. I guess you could say it is a kind of “coping mechanism” or something like that for those times when you feel like you’re spiralling into a maelstrom of existential dread.
The fact that our lives will come to an end makes every moment we have more precious. These are unique experiences that cannot be replicated.
Easy to say, and I do believe it, but also…
Boomers like my parents chose and still choose to perpetuate abusive systems instead of opposing them. I spent too long thanking them for teaching me violence because any other reaction would be met with violence. Why am I supposed to feel grateful about being born into a backwards, burning slave world?
I am finally getting treatment for alcohol dependency. I want to stop hiding from my own life, but I don’t know how. I wasted myself on people who don’t actually care about anything but themselves. It sometimes feels like there is too much pain for anything to be worthwhile, but I am also too scared to check out early.
So… I don’t know. We have a lot of problems to solve. Things may get worse before they get better, but there is potential for things to get better. Theoretically. 🤷 I hope they get better for everyone, including you. I wish I knew.
Naltrexone is amazing if you have a chance to try it. Life-changing stuff to have on you
Time brings acceptance, because you can only be freaked out by something for so long
Read/listen to/watch philosophy content. People wiser than us over the centuries have spent their lifetimes thinking about these questions. There’s no single answer, but there are ways of thinking through this and coming to a place mentally that you can be happy with.
Personally I find Albert Camus’s flavour of absurdism to be the best way I find things to make sense. The universe is irrational and meaningless, and that’s great news. We carry on in a meaningless world and make our own meaning.
If you like podcasts then here are some great ones:
Within Reason (although he’s spending too much time in his analysis of religion, I prefer the other episodes)
Even just watching TV shows and movies helps, as long as you’re paying attention to the story of the charachters, the messages and the experiences/motives of the characters. Seeing the stories of others (even if fictional) helps put your own situation in perspective.
You don’t snap out of out. You either try your best to avoid thinking about it or you sit with it and all the emotions that come with it.
By realizing it’s just existence, not a crisis.
It’s a traumatic part of growth. Every culture has a defined path you’re supposed to go down and pretend like you enjoy it but the reality of people is so much more complex than that we all hit the point where the contradictions between ourselves and the lives we are living becomes too much and changes need to be made. You can’t go back to pretending you are completely fine with what you thought you were fine with, you can only move forward. As for how to deal with this world in all its beauties and horrors now that you see it a bit more clearly, being around other real life humans who also see it clearly helps a lot. We weren’t meant to go through this alone.
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lots of weed
this
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
cannabis
Basically, this idea, illustrated through a terrible quality meme:
At some point, you get to accept the freedom this idea gives to you. And with that, comes not only appreciation of big moments of leisure and joy (like what you described as writing poetry and listening to cicadas), but also little moments of everyday life.
When you get to your job next time, try to stay out of your smartphone and be vigilant.
- A cute cat runs across the road
- Flowers bloom around
- A smell of recently mown grass fills the air
- Someone has made an art on the wall
- Someone wore a shirt with the inscription that made you smile
- People across talk about a BBQ party, or how quickly kids grow up, or plan a new friends meeting
- A stranger needs help. Maybe you can offer one, and you’ll wish each other a good day?
There are millions of such moments happening every day. Keep an eye out of them, and you’ll see the life happens all the time, not only on vacations.
One thing to note is that you are not alone with this feeling, in fact when I read your post it really remindend me of the song ‘I am Machine’ from Breaking Benjamin if you like Rock/Metal music.
Also if you do not want another cosmic scale existential crisis, please do not look up the meaning behind my username ;)
