So, I have a friend…
He’s the same age as me (but a few months older), bi and we’ve known each other for more than 10 years now, since elementary. He’s my only remaining true friend, because the other left me at the beginning of HRT.
So far, he’s been amazingly supportive. Like, probably the most supportive person after my bf. We talk a bit on Discord, mostly my messages tho (I think I annoy him a bit tbh 😆)
A couple of days ago…I was feeling good about myself. Great, even. Felt great about my HRT progress and I was feeling, for once in a very long time, kinda happy with myself.
And in that state of happiness and excitement, a mistake was made…
(This is the approximate conversation on Discord we had)
M - me
V - him
M: “Hey, so…I know I haven’t shown you any pics, but my HRT progress is going quite well rn. It’s really motivating.”
M: “So…if you’re ready…”
M: (links to timeline post on Trans Joy)
M: “You don’t really have to look if you don’t want to. It’s just…I find it quite informational and tbh, interesting.”
V: “Okay, Imma be honest…”
V: “It’s a bit strange to see the naked body of someone I know…especially when that person is a girl.”
V: “And, tbh…”
V: “If I hadn’t known it was you, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between these and pics of a cis woman…”
M: “Stahp 😭. It’s not true, you’re just trying to be kind…”
V: “Nah, for real tho. Those are some pics you see on NSFW subreddits.”
V: “Not trying to be kind, I’m just telling the truth.”
V: “In fact, some time ago, had I not known these were your photos, they would have been something that I used for pleasure…”
Now, this conversation got slightly strange and after his last message (which he deleted), he started apologizing to me for being weird or creepy.
I don’t blame him at all for this. I know that he has a strong preference for small chests…I knew that and sent the link anyway. I should have seen it coming. What is wrong with me? I regret making it awkward between us so fucking much.
I was just really excited in the moment and thought “Fuck it”. I just wanted him to share my happiness…if only for a moment. It was a dumb thing to do.
Girls…
Please don’t do what I did 😭
It was dumb and I should have known. Please, lovely people of Lemmy, please be smarter than me 🩷
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I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I think you were being provocative. You sent links to nude pics of yourself and got upset when he liked them. That’s on you.
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Don’t beat yourself up this happens to every human I guarantee it.
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Yah, girl. But the question she’s asking isn’t “how did this happen,” it’s “what do I do now?”
No one is focused on whose fault this is, because it doesn’t even really matter anymore. These boobs HAVE BEEN seen.
A curse of being hot is going to be navigating how to deal with friends being attracted to you. A good friend telling you he would absolutely jerk off to your pictures is actually not too far out of left field for some women. Congrats on having a 🎉🎊🎉girl problem🎉🎊🎉
From here, if they made you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t show any more nudes to this friend. I would also think about what they might say if they were interested in hooking up with you and be prepared to respond.
If you’re both interested in each other, this is a classic friends to lovers story. Otherwise, be firm and respectful of your boundaries. They will never follow rules you don’t tell them. Good luck!!
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I’ve been so close to sharing nudes with male friends recently, because sometimes I’m just feeling myself and I want some validation, and there’s something deeply gender affirming about a cis lesbian or straight man thinking you’re hot. I get why you had the urge, but I agree it’s probably not great idea to actually do.
It is pretty hot thinking about my guy friends getting all flustered by me, ngl. But bad, bad Domi, no!
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You didn’t do anything wrong. Boobs are normal. Sex is normal. If you feel like you’ve overstepped your own boundaries in a moment of elation, it can be said. If you want to clarify that this share does not mean in any way that you want your relationship to change into something else, it can be said. This is a mistake that can be fixed. Easier said than done, I know. By what you’re saying your friend seems to have gone further than he wish he had as well. Please please don’t just throw away a friendship over this.
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Thanks for the update, and good job! I’m glad for the way it turned out.
Just talk it out imo, you both will feel better
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You meant no harm, it doesn’t come off like you did to me at least. I’m so glad you were able to talk it out!
You aren’t to blame for other’s reactions, feelings, desires or wants.
nah, ima do what you did, except in a lewd friend circle where everyone already shares porn to eachother. I’ve been gooning socially for so long that I’ve known some of these people since before COVID19. We’re good friends.
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Happy to help, Miisha, and I’m glad to hear you two figured it out! :)
And I should’ve left it up. I have a tendency to write looong comments and in the moment I thought, hey, all this other advice is great too, and way more succinct lol.
You’re super cute too and you’ve made so much progress in the past few months. Just imagine how things will be in five years!
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