Hello everyone :3
So back in May I started a new job, accidentally outed by a friend from the beginning (it was an honest misunderstanding), freshly hatched actually. Though unplanned, it turned out to be a good thing generally. One of the cool consequences was that I ended up on the women only ( mail distribution list of my new workplace, which felt really affirming.
They offered an online talk about microaggression which I attended, still very much insecure without showing my face or voice. At this point I’m still pretty scared of going to a public women’s restroom and keep it in until I’m home. I’ve not been to any women only space yet, so this was a pretty nice opportunity. Oh well, I kinda lurked in some online spaces of course, but this did feel much closer to real life.
It was a bit of a… culture shock, but with gender and in a good way? I feel a bit weird saying this, cause it’s just so stereotypical stuff, but I was just so amazed at how this topic got treated with such natural and artless empathy by everyone who spoke. I’m surely able to imagine spaces where men are allowed in which this could happen, too, I just never stumbled into one. And here it just felt like the obvious default everyone casually agrees to? Why is it not like this everywhere?!
It felt like coming home, even in a different way from joining trans spaces, where I do have similar feels. And I broke down crying for ~15 min for not having grown up with that kind of support. I don’t know, maybe I am reading more into this than there really was, I’m still processing this. Feel like something very profound happened to me.
Gonna go to a witchy rope gathering for women on the weekend, which is in actual real life, wonder how that’ll turn out. Super excited, but very nervous, too. Even dreaming about it a lot, which is very unusual for me, can’t remember my dreams at all most nights.
Feel free to share any thoughts, hope you’re all good with your journeys <3
Gosh, I wish that were normal! I kept thinking, why isn’t everyone socialized like that? That would make life so much better for everyone.
Ugh, welcome to the patriarchy or something, I guess.
it has nothing to do with an empty shell term of “patriarchy”. there’s actual, clear reasons behind it.
the biggest reason is history and evolution being on the side of “be loud, be obnoxious, then you’ll get through”. historically, that’s pretty easy to see. if you live in the US today, your descendants come from raiders, pillagers, farmers and vikings who weren’t hesitant to hit hard if it gave them an advantage in battle or in life in general. that’s why these traits exist in the first place. women often didn’t leave the household to ensure they wouldn’t get raped or otherwise mistreated.
it’s not difficult to imagine that these traits don’t vanish overnight, just because you try to do a social liberal re-education camp. these views will persist for generations at least.
the only way to calm the situation is to make it unprofitable to be loud and obnoxious. which is caused by the simple fact that it brings you into more risk if you’re an asshole. but this is a small cost, so it will take a long time to change the situation.
on the good news side of things, italy did it. italy used to be the imperial center of the world, 2000 years ago, and most of the population was very militarized. that eventually subsided, and nowadays it (used to be) one of the most matriarchal places in the world! (that was, until americanism poisoned the cultural landscape around 80 years ago).