I really want to start HRT, but I’m scared I’ll regret not doing sperm freezing first. The problem is it’s expensive and I’m still on my parents’ insurance while I’m in university and coming out to them did not go very well. I’ve already put it off for like 2 years because of this and I’m getting so tired of waiting. I’m also really really worried about losing my hair if I don’t start soon because my family has a history of baldness on both sides

I feel like these are my options:

  • Just start HRT and if I really want a non-adopted child I can try pausing and hope that works. Plus adoption is probably ethically a better choice anyway
  • Pay out of pocket for a mail order service like Legacy (which I’ve read both good and bad things about). It would be a lot of money but I could pay for it. I’m just worried they might not be as trustworthy as a local place
  • Wait even longer to have the money to pay for storage at a local bank. People say they tend to be better but the one near me is so much more expensive
  • Try to come out to my parents again so I can use insurance. They weren’t like as bad as some people’s experiences when I tried the first time, but all my mom would talk about is complaining about how this will affect her because she claims her “identity is having a son” and she doesn’t want me to “mutilate my body” and my dad wasn’t actively mean but didnt like try to get her to be nice or really say much.

My friend says I should just try to come out to my parents again or just not worry about it but I just really hate conflict and don’t know how to try again and I also get so anxious over everything so I feel like it would be hard to not worry about it.

  • MacroMoray ( quantumgenderino@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
    3·
    4 days ago

    This was a pretty hard post to read, because I’m currently trying for a baby with my wife, and it really sucks to see more people having to choose between HRT or a baby.

    I started HRT a year ago and even worse, we had a pregnancy we terminated because my wife wasn’t ready and it was before I realized I was trans and thought I didn’t want to be a parent. I ended up getting a vasectomy. I got the offer to freeze sperm several times and holy shit do I regret not taking it when I could.

    I have a lot of regrets when it comes to my past reproductive choices, mainly because I want the baby to be mine biologically, but not everyone gets that urge. I will say, if you don’t get a vasectomy, you can get sperm production back to normal by putting a pause on HRT, but it would take several months to be fertile again, and then however long to get a pregnancy. Speaking from experience, being on HRT and then coming off fucking sucks, but the person who carries the baby destroys their body with pregnancy, and this is your equivalent as the mom with no uterus.

    When it comes to your parents, I can’t see anything good coming from formally coming out again, but starting to transition without saying anything is an option. They’ve been made aware you want to transition, so they have no excuse to not understand what’s going on.

    Wishing you all the best sister, it will get better, but we have to get through the shitty part first unfortunately ❤️

  • Bryllyg ( Bryllyg@quokk.au ) English
    4·
    5 days ago

    I hate to say this but your mother may never come around. Those are very selfish comments and she sounds like a closet narcissist. There is no need to come out twice, you may end up with even more trauma. Those comments she made are huge red flags.

    I would highly recommend making plans to do this without them and make an exit plan in case they fully reject you. It’s your life to live, not theirs, and you don’t need their permission. But I agree that you may need to bide your time and plan this out. Be safe first.

    If you don’t have a therapist, try to get one asap. Self care is super duper important. Work on stealth euphoria. Nice underclothes, taking care of your hair and nails are great starting points.