Those are good points. Safety is very important and valid, and I wish I would have touched on that earlier.

One thing I did in the beginning was to wear colorful cloth masks matching my outfits. I think doing that and hiding my receding hair line underneath hats did a huge job with allowing me to pass in people’s eyes.

💜

May I please have a brief explanation as this meme wooshed over this girl’s head 🤔

I know that you are feeling very down, but you have some part of you that is fighting this and is strong. Every time you post and show yourself and reach out, that part of you is showing itself to us.

Always remember that you have a kind heart and a beautiful soul and you are worthy of love. Thank you for sharing with us.

that the faye would need her help to do this, but they never did anything without a reason. She decided the most logical place to start would be…

…cure a sick mermaid. The wide-eyed girl sprang into action…

fell asleep next to the half finished structure. And that is when she met the Faerie Princess, who needed…

There were dozens of people on the beach building sand castles! She let out a squeel of joy as she remembered something from her childhood…

Somewhere, I can’t recall if it was on the fedi or discord, I saw the term gock (girl cock) and thought that was cute.

💜

the beach. She had an idea for a new documentary about hula surfing.

giggle as she quickly demonstrated her hula skills. “Did your movie ever get released?”

“I was filming a documentary about surfing. Oh my gosh now I remember, weren’t you the woman that…”

Girl listen to this 54 year old telling you that no one ever starts transitioning too late. If it makes you happy, don’t look back.

It took me decades to get over my self hatred. But it doesn’t need to take you that long and honey you are doing amazing and you are stronger than you realize. It takes huge guts to come back and be here. Do not be ashamed. You are a badass.

That psychiatrist sounds like a fucking idiot. Fucking yikes. You are not a bad person but you need a better therapist. Keep working on it, mental health can take a long time to smooth out but you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. 💜

“Hey, you look so familiar. Have you ever been to…”

began to sing along to the music blaring from the huge float nearby. It was a song she hadn’t heard in years…

I started transitioning at 52 years old. I didn’t have any idea what gender dysphoria actually was until I was 51. At 49 I was misgendered over the phone. A woman called me “ma’am” like 5 times. I had no idea why that felt so good.

Eventually I realized that I am a woman and that I’ve always been a woman and started investigating what I could do about this.

There’s no time limit, and transitioning is a choice. For me it was the correct one. I knew there could be negative things in my future but i felt that no matter what, my newly found sense of self love and caring outweighed any consequences or side effects. Chasing the euphoria and self care became the best thing to ever happen in my life.

Sadly the consequences have recently arrived. I lost family over it and I was kicked out of the house a month ago. But I will never look back and say that my transition was a mistake because I calculated those risks. The family members I lost were already bigots and would have never come around. The friend I lost over becoming unhoused was sadly fair weathered.

Transgender people can face difficult challenges negotiating relationships and sometimes we aren’t accepted. That can be a very daunting thing to think about before beginning. But for me, I am glad I can see those people for who they really are. People that I can no longer tolerate in my life.

I will tell you what helped me to decide. I literally wrote down lists. 1 list of Reasons to transition. 1 list of things that I remembered from my past to help me see why it might be a good thing. 1 list of challenges I would have to face. Writing everything down over the course of several days was exactly what I needed.

Only you can make this decision. And it is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. But you can always start HRT and stop if you don’t think it’s helping. There is no shame in trying it even if it’s just for a week or a month.

I wish you the best. Whether you decide to move forward or not is up to you. But even if you don’t, just the process of self discovery is so important and I am happy that you are at least willing to explore and learn more about yourself. Whatever you decide, you can keep that momentum going.

Be good to yourself.

I hate to say this but your mother may never come around. Those are very selfish comments and she sounds like a closet narcissist. There is no need to come out twice, you may end up with even more trauma. Those comments she made are huge red flags.

I would highly recommend making plans to do this without them and make an exit plan in case they fully reject you. It’s your life to live, not theirs, and you don’t need their permission. But I agree that you may need to bide your time and plan this out. Be safe first.

If you don’t have a therapist, try to get one asap. Self care is super duper important. Work on stealth euphoria. Nice underclothes, taking care of your hair and nails are great starting points.

Shaving had been a huge issue for me at first. My skin hates blades, super sensitive no matter what I did. The first shaver I found was so good but they seem to have stopped making, it was called Flawless Legs and had 4 rotating heads. But sadly I dropped it and then the battery eventually went out completely.

But this replacement I found is just as good. It’s a 3 head shaver and gets a pretty close shave. It’s by Vogoe and runs about 30$ on Amazon. I will try to attach a picture. It’s really easy to clean and I swear I need to buy a second one once I get some income. I also got a single head “conair” that has a bunch of attachments and it works ok.

I love that outfit and you look great! I want those pants 💜

One thing that super helped me the first time I went into a public restroom was that I was using a face mask. I try to wear cloth masks that match my clothing. I became more comfortable in public in general wearing masks in the first few months of transition.

The first few times though, I wasn’t even really wearing fem clothing. I just decided that I needed to go and felt icky about using the ‘mens’ room. The other thing that helped was that it was a restroom in an office building so not much traffic through it at all. It was maybe 3 weeks later that I finally got pants from the woman’s section at Target and that helped even more.

That first time I went in public, I stood up to pee. As soon as I was done and out the door in the hallway I realized that felt pretty dysphoric and also might call attention to me. At home I started practicing sitting down and realized how amazing and gender euphoric this felt.

Sorry if I am meandering and rambling a little but I thought maybe my experience might help.

I hope it gets easier for you. Take one step at a time. You are doing something right if you are getting welcomed like this. 💜

Edit: not to say that if someone isn’t getting welcomed that they are doing anything wrong. It may take time to find an accepting group of people. 💜

I will be sorting out my address! I got a PO box last week that I can use as my new mailing address and I am getting documentation this week from DHHS on my housing status (and lack therof) which I can start using to act as a surrogate physical address.

A large effort is ahead of me with updating everything, but I will finally be free of the place that rejected my identity and caused this situation I am clawing my way out of.

I am trying really hard to keep my brain focused on today and moving forward. Trying to stay positive and not listen to the trauma loops playing on repeat. The struggle is real sometimes. But I am going to fucking make it through this.

💜