Someone feeling unsafe or uncomfortable is not sufficient evidence to claim that someone isn’t inclusive. For that you need to present concrete evidence of a consistent pattern of behaviors that are of some degree of seriousness.

And while I have minor criticism of the moderation (mostly w.r.t. some servers not being blocked, when they should be, though this seems more like an oversight than intention), I have always found Ada to be very responsive, fair, and understanding, when I sent her a DM about an issue.

Now, you are of course free to disagree and to dislike her moderation-policies, in which case you are free to change servers. This is fedi, so there is nothing stopping you from staying in contact with your friends or even hang out in Lemmy communities here. The primary reason to choose a Fedi server is the moderation team and if you don’t like it, that’s okay, choose another one.

That said, you give of the vibes of one of those extremely self-centered people that have been known to destroy progressive spaces by abusing progressive or therapy-language to make everyone miserable. I don’t know you well enough to want to judge you on that (because I try to make those decisions based on evidence, not based on feelings, as you want us to do in your criticism of the mods), but you may want to reflect on that…