Politely nothing. If they want to know my secrets, they will have to work for it. That way I’m also not bothering some strangers who don’t deserve to be randomly harassed.
Good luck, no woman has ever been able to get through my dense head
My opener is silence tbh
“I use Arch, by the way”
I wouldn’t say a word because women don’t interest me, only men do (as I’m gay). I’d just be distracted by my phone and ride the elevator in peace before departing on my chosen floor.
I wouldn’t even acknowledge them.
Jensen Huang enters the chat
Um, this elevator is taken, you will need to wait for the next one.
Than fart real loud.
a smile and nod and then right back to my phone screen?
why would you use an “opener” on random people getting into an elevator with you?
Did you catch the game last night?
Do you like hot fudge Sundays?
Ever seen a guy eat his own head?
Is the police still waiting outside?
What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
you mean Dune: Awakening?
If you try “openers” on women walking into elevators like a captive audience you deserve to die in a fire
Counter point:
I always liked this elevator. It picks me up when I’m down.In a fancy hotel, a boy got on and told the elevator operator that he was staying on the top floor. When the doors opened the operator said “Your floor, son.” The boy asked why he called him son, and the operator replied, “Well, didn’t I bring you up?”
Counter counterpoint:
Unfortunately it always brings me down when I’m up.Got it to move sideways. When I passed out drunk.
Oh, the dad’s gambit.
A captive audience for 15 seconds at which point they have a built-in reason to leave though
but where else am i going to meet someone
I’d say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.
“Hi. What floor? Have a good night.”
What is this, an Axe commercial?
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What would you prefer, one of the mass-produced goth girls from the goth girl industrial complex?
1 goth girl please. Any quality will do, even if its a ticktok counterfeit.
Now we’re talking.
Um, uh, wha- uh who uhhh who’s this?
I have a blouse just like this one
Clearly
Well fuck, you guys are gonna see me on the news for leaking secrets if that’s on the table
…for legal reasons, that was a joke
I’m into tomboys.
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Hit all the buttons then run on the next floor.
You ladies like lemmy? There’s a whole bunch of socialism in my room and we’ve got femboys coming up later.
