as always, we’re back. how’s your week going folks

  • My mom who I haven’t seen in like six years is coming to stay with me for a little under a week. She hasn’t seen me in person since I transitioned but is supportive despite her conservative leanings. She’s also visiting me in here in Portland from where she lives in Texas so there’s a double layer of “everything is okay, the city is not on fire” plus all the new trans stuff she’s going to be asking about. So it’ll be a week of doing my best to be an LGBTQ encyclopedia and Portland advocate while catching up with my mom. It should be okay, but it’s going to be stressful 🥲

    • I hope everything goes well during the visit! If she’s supportive, that’s already a great sign. Constantly explaining things can get exhausting after a while, but it’s definitely easier to handle when those questions are asked in good faith.

      I hope you don’t mind me asking, but as someone who is really considering moving to Portland from the deep south, how is it? It seems like a really fun city, but it’s hard to sift through the propaganda with it being such a target for conservative media.

      •  Dee   ( @Dee_Imaginarium@beehaw.org ) 
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        1 year ago

        I don’t mind! In fact, here’s way more info than you asked for!

        Portland has it’s problems, no doubt. But in comparison to the south? It’s not even close, you couldn’t pay me to move back (and my job tried lol). The weather is more mild, the people more friendly and the culture more inclusive. The food scene is crazy, so much variety and fusions you’ve never heard of. Afters years I’m still discovering new eateries to try and pretty much every place has veggie/vegan options if you’re into that. Super walkable with awesome public transit (for an American city) that makes it great to get around for real cheap. Hiking trails on hiking trails with lots of bike infrastructure. So many fun shows come to town all the time and the local artists are their own brand of amazing weirdness. Also weird subcultures. I’m going to the Mondo Croquet World Championships this Sunday where you play croquet with bowling balls and sledgehammers. Takes place in Portland every year for 26 years and I just learned about it two days ago lol

        Now the bad. There’s some sketchiness with some of the houseless encampments around town, but the majority are just people trying to get by. Don’t berate or antagonize them and you’ll be fine. I was just walking in Old Town the other week with a friend, this is often described as the most dangerous part of the city, and it was fine. A houseless person who was talking to himself saw my Mars Attacks shirt there, smiled real big, and then yelled “ack ack ack ack ack!” So I smiled back and gave him a nod, he was satisfied with the exchange and went on his way. Which is honestly how it goes most of the time. Most houseless people I talk to are just thankful I talk to them at all and don’t ignore them. One dude showed me his sweet rock collection on the train, he was stoked to share with someone and they were some pretty sweet rocks tbh. I know anecdotes don’t directly translate to data but for what it’s worth that’s been everybody’s experience I’ve spoken to that I can confirm actually lives here. If you go to the Portland subreddit for instance you’ll see a lot of claims being made but then dig into the profiles to find they don’t actually live here.

        Our police department is the worst. I know everyone says that, but like, Portland Police might actually be the worst. They’re on an unofficial soft strike right now and have been since the George Floyd Protests and only respond to the most urgent of urgent calls. Then wonder why everyone hates them and wants to slash their budget. I could go on for a while there but I won’t. Portland cops suck, real hard.

        Housing and rent sucks, but so does everywhere else. So, meh. Although with Oregon rent control I’ve been able to renew my lease and have pretty close to what I was paying in rent five years ago because we haven’t moved.

        I didn’t meant to type a wall of text, but that’s a very summarized run down of what to expect. I tried to be completely honest because it’s not a perfect city, but I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else at this point.

        with it being such a target for conservative media.

        It’s kind of a blessing in disguise because it largely keeps conservative people from moving here so it’s mostly really cool/chill people that move here instead lol

  • my first foster dog, chuck, is an absolute angel, and i don’t say that lightly as somebody who is very realistic about a dog’s personality. (my own two dogs are certified jerks, lol.) chuck gets along great with every dog he’s met, loves kids, and the folks at the vet clinic said he just stood there while they did his exam, like nothing was even happening. i can attest to that, as i had to give him eye drops this evening. i’ve only had him about a week, and i doubt i’m going to have him much longer, because he’s the dog everybody wants when they think of a great, chill pet.

    large border collie-looking dog laying down on a rug

  •  bipmi   ( @bipmi@beehaw.org ) 
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    231 year ago

    My outside kitty ran away for 6 weeks and just came back on monday morning! I was getting into a bit of a depressive episode and had started mourning her, so having her back feels great.

      •  bipmi   ( @bipmi@beehaw.org ) 
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        41 year ago

        Kinda both lol. She has been very sweet the last few days, moreso than normal, but when she came back I was heading out the door to go to work so I just picked her up, put her inside and left for work (the photo I took is actually from my kitty camera in my living room). She is an old lady kitty though so she sleeps around 14 or so hours a day and doesnt eat a whole ton. Im just glad she is back because her previous caretakers had her declawed and we live on the border of suburbia and rural farms, so lots of coyotes and such linger about

        •  Ellvix   ( @Ellvix@beehaw.org ) 
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          21 year ago

          Aww. Very nice that she’s back.

          I hear you on coyotes. I’m one house away from their territory and although it’s nice to hear then every night, my fuzzball got out once and I was rightly panicked (he turned up after 2 days… nothing near your ordeal).

  •  potpie   ( @potpie@beehaw.org ) 
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    141 year ago

    Last night I grabbed a bunch of audio files for country songs that contain the phrase “ice cold beer,” then I edited them together so that all the "ice cold beer"s lined up amidst the cacophony of about 5 songs being played at the same time. I thought that would be funny but it just didn’t sound as good as I thought it would. Maybe if each song faded in one by one… I dunno.

  • Not terrible thus far. Getting over a cold and am already sick of hearing about the Twitter rebrand, but otherwise better than the past few days.

    Really starting to wish that Lemmy had a way to block entire instances. It feels silly that my choices are to either block everything labeled as NSFW (including discussions, comics, etc that aren’t necessarily sexual in nature but not appropriate for work), or have to block an endless sea of furry porn on the “All” timeline, one community at a time (no judgement, just not what I’m on Lemmy for).

    • Lol I very much agree with the need for an instance blocking button. Feels like it should be a fairly simple filter for an @ pattern, but it’s not like I’m a Lemmy dev, so it really could be an insane lift. There’s been talk of it in various rooms, though I’m not sure the last time I’ve seen this topic on beehaw.

    • It does get easier after the first major purge. We’re still a relatively small site so most of the porn comes from the same few places. I do agree though that it would be nice and easy to just block it.

      I also wish there was some more granular control with how instances populate your front page either all or subscribed. As it is the meme instances tend to drown out a lot of everything else.

  • Moved to a small town earlier this year, tried to make friends, met some cool people, last month I found out one of the group was super openly transphobic, so I stopped hanging out with them. Tried to reconnect with some cousins, last week I found out one was a transphobe, homophobe, and racist, cut her off. Started to get close with a different one, found out yesterday that he was transphobic, cut him off. I’m not trans, but I don’t want to be around idiots that think trans people are groomers. Feeling pretty goddamn isolated and terrible about myself. Wishing I could just stay inside and never see people for the rest of my life.

    • I understand that very well. I’m trans and have to worry about transphobic people all the time. We appreciate you avoiding transphobic people because you’re less likely to become one if you don’t hang out with one, but most of all because it basically deplatforms them in reality.

      I also just wish I could stay inside and never go out there again. People are hard. And I’m worried about how I appear all the time. I never want strangers to know I’m trans so I avoid letting any of that show. So when they do realize that’s always really awkward. But trans stuff aside, people are hard. Very hard. I’m now taking 6 psych pills a day. It helps but it’s still not enough.

      • I’m sorry to hear that. I have really bad self-esteem issues around my body and I have spent my life avoiding the public most of the time for that reason, it’s really limited my options in life. I promise that there are other people like me out there that would support you if we saw you, not criticize you. You deserve to be you wherever you feel like being.

    • I am proud of you for making the choice to ignore the accepted programming of “but faaaaamily” and judge whether to let these individuals into your life based on who they are as people. It is such a hard thing to do. I have nearly cut off all contact with my family - father included - because of such attitudes, and I’m not trans, either. As adults, making friends takes more purposeful action, and that means time in a lot of cases, but it’s worth it. (BIG INTERNET HUG)

  • I’m doing better than I was previously. Getting past some mental health hurdles, and I’m finally back to work. I start on a new team, with a new supervisor that won’t cruelly demean me in our 1 on 1s until I start crying 🙃 still struggling a bit and I messed up my back gardening over the weekend, so that doesn’t help.

      • Yeah, for real. I’ve actually worked with my new boss previously, so I’m happy with the change. Work was an insane level of stress that I won’t miss.

        I’m mostly growing herbs, with a few pepper varieties and a few fruits like tomatoes, strawberries and blueberries. They are mostly for drying for use in cooking/baking, and also to use as ingredients for the water kefir my wife and I make.

  • Pretty good! I just made an account here. I’ve been on Lemmy/Fedi/etc for a while but finally found my way to the hive.

    Now I’m sipping coffee to get ready for the workday. Hope y’all have a good week.

  • Today has been the first day in a long time where I’ve been able just enjoy it and realise I am enjoying it in the moment. I took the day off work, had a therapy session and I went to gym. It’s been lovely so far + I made my therapist laugh so I won therapy

  • My BF failed their exam that would have given them enough credit to not have to take a final semester. COVID and a lack of support for their mental health makes this their 6th year of college. Sadly, this means a few more months of long distance relationship, but at least he isn’t at risk of being kicked out for being trans.

    …For now. I’m fully prepared to make the drive and extract him from a bad situation. We’re feeling better than expected, though, since now the dread of the test looming over his head is gone.

  • Debbie downer here! If you’re having a good day, I don’t want to harsh it, so skip me! :)

    Apparently my mood’s been off enough this week that it’s been effecting people around me negatively and now I have to get restarted on meditating to hopefully fix it. But at least I do have that one option, I definitely haven’t always had a path to follow when it comes to mood/feeling stuff. It just feels precarious because it’s like, if this doesn’t work, what comes next?

    Idk, maybe this is a feeble attempt at crowdsourcing what comes next, because if that doesn’t work, idk what I’ll do. Probably will just shrug and try to keep moving at the very worst, it’s all one can do sometimes.

    But it’s not all terrible, my cat is healthy, I have a job, and I have friends, so there’s that :)

    Tldr; this is me venting that emotions are difficult little bastards

    • I don’t have much to say that might help, except that I feel what you’re saying. Many times I’ve been at a place where all I can do is look at my emotions and think “what the hell am I supposed to do with this?”. Nothing like not knowing how long you’ll have to wade through the swamp or what’s going to help you get out. Sometimes all you can do is keep moving and be open to what’s coming in the future.