I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
I actually seem to have this one: Appropriately sized container man. I can find the best sized container when we have leftovers from cooking. Extra pasta sauce? This container fits it all in perfectly.
IDK man, that’s toeing the line of an A-tier power.
My wife has a version of this; it’s perfect liquid measurement estimation woman. She never has to use measuring cups for liquids. I’ve actually bothered to test this power, and it’s uncanny.
All I got was hysterical kitchen blindness man. I can’t see things I’m looking for in the fridge or pantry, even when they’re right in front of me.
Sorry man, yours isn’t even a power. It comes default with the Y chromosome. I can be staring directly at something I’m looking for and not register that it’s right there.
I swear it’s gotten worse with age.
Me: Owns a variety of sizes of containers
Also me: Only uses 2 of the sizes, and never has a clean one when I need it
I might have this one too. Probably from that microwave accident I was involved in.
I don’t know if this qualifies as “b-tier”, but I’d really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.
I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. “is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking”) would be gold. The amount of times I’ve gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.
Would also sort out the “is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents”-question, as well as “is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I’ve yet to find and the whole house is collapsing”.
This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.
I’m happy I’m not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn’t care about making noise. You know that moment when you’re asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you’re in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it’ll wake you up?
Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can’t care.
There are dozens of us!
I’ve had the exact same reaction - “whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I’ll deal with it tomorrow”.
My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was “well there goes my day” as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I’d do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.
So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.
It’s probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What’s not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.
The crow whisperer.
A while back my shed suddenly was demolished spontaneously. So I’m running around in full makeup trying to get all the gardening stuff out to put it in my place.
There were some shockingly large spiders there. I’m talking the largest that I’ve ever seen irl outside a zoo.
Doesn’t matter, eggs and all are going inside.
So the other day I woke up and I saw one of those babies right above my head on the wall. I’m like I better get rid of this thing before I give it a name. Scurries off under my bed.
I imagine it’s still there but I’ve made my peace with it.
And as for mice. Honestly I’d build them a little home and give them little sandwiches. In fact I have made little sandwiches for them. The issue is just that they make my kitchen dirty.
Finish a task without getting distracted after five minutes man.
I too have ADHD.
I’d love to be able to finish a task witho-
Man that coffee pot is gross, better go clean it.
Free refill man. Just point my finger and any beverage is refilled.
Sounds more like “solves water crisis man” to me. Point your finger at the colorado river and we are all set.
Your nemesis is Nestle. They want to put you in a locked room in the desert and pump sports drink out of you.
I’d like to think that they could break out of Nestle jail by pointing at all the guards stomachs and giving them otherworldly acid reflux.
They all just start projectile vomiting an endless stream. Brutal.
Ah, see I assume some sort of anime rules apply to the power and the larger the vessel the more it would sap my energy.
I guess I would still need to worry about being kidnapped by nestle and being hooked up to a feeding tube and gives to use my powers anyway…
Like this?
Yeah I know this one, complete with the classic “if someone is annoying and won’t leave you alone just refill their bladder”.
That’s just pepsi man.
I take perfect shits no matter what. Never constipated or have diahrea. Wipes are always perfectly clean.
B-side Man
But that’s my “me” time…
You can still hang out or whatever your thing is.
I’d be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.
I would be Sleep-on-command man
That’s me. The secret is to give up caffeine entirely and stick to a sleep schedule even on weekends.
I have that one and it gets annoying some times.
It’s “on command”. Stop commanding yourself to sleep. 😁
Missed that detail. I’m just the sleep-anywhere-anytime-as-long-as-I-am-not-moving, then.
Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.
Mosquitos used to find me attractive, but as I aged they didn’t come by no more.
Food-doesnt-make-me-overweight-or-mess-up-my-health man.
So I can eat whatever I want and it’s perfectly healthy for me whatever it is. I’d eat ao much ice cream it wouldn’t be funny.
That’s a S tier super power.
superpowers are s-tier by definition, if one were b-tier it would have to just be a power
Low-current, 9V supply man
Man that is b tier. I’d been going for 18v at least
12v maybe?
B being secondary with A as the highest or tertiary with S as the highest?
If the former, I’ll be Doesn’t Overthink Everything Man
If the latter, I’ll go with Correct Orientation of USB drives and Cables on First Try Man
I too would choose quantum superpositioning USB powers
Those things just don’t make sense. How is it that they require being turned three times to fit?
I already have mine, and it frustrates my wife no end. I’m Always Finds a Parking Spot Right Near Where We’re Going Man, but only if I’m the one driving. When she’s driving we end up on the wrong side of the parking lot.
Haha I used to know a guy with a similar ability.
Then my family started praying to this person in the car whenever we were struggling to find a parking spot haha
Incredible massage dude. I want to be able to give incredible massages that relax muscles. Maybe the ability to relieve stress by touch. Bonus points if it works on myself, my shoulders suck.
Ooo, this is a good one! Accupressure Boy, able to relieve minor aches and pains, and cure headaches.
That would be a perfectly B tier power.
Definitely support-class hero; the kind that stay back at the base and never risk their life but still contribute.
Every-time-I-go-to-sit-there-is-a-seat-man
You would always win, or break, musical chairs.
learn to squat, your legs become your own seat.
Perfect hearing man.
Might finally get rid of my tinnitus and I could hear silence again.
i’ve long forgotten what silence even is.