They treat service people well.
I was going to write this one.
they read books
After 4 years of engineering I’m scared of books now…😂😂😂
The trick is to read something that’s fictional and less dry. Fantasy would be an excellent choice. Sci Fi if you still enjoy things slightly more grounded in reality.
valid lol, sometimes gotta take a break for a while
Oh man. I wish i could read a book!
What’s keeping you?
I dunno…distractions, too much commitment, feels indulgent,… ? Just got a book for my birthday and read the first 100 pages aloud in the car because my husband and son wanted to hear it. Now it’s been on my coffee table for two weeks and I’m struggling to pick it back up.
It’s not really indulgent to take some time for yourself. Maybe your also missing the right book to get you interested. What kind of story are you interested in?
Thank you for the motivation
When i was younger (before kids) i read a lot - mostly Stephen King and classics and it’s still what i really like. Kids are grown, but i have a hard time saying, “I’m going to sit here for an hour and read.” There’s always something to do…bills, husband, animals, house, yard, etc. and when i veg I mostly turn to mindlessly browsing my phone because it’s 2 minute chunks that you can put down anytime. After 15 years of working at the same job i just found out that my lunch break is 60 minutes instead of 30 - maybe I’ll bring a book and try to use that time to read.
Uses vim?
Now I’m not dating someone unless they can prove their vim skills. Probably I’m gonna die alone.
:wq is the equivalent of sexting you
Maybe :q! (Bang)
I like to stay safe with my sexting
And she is lesbian
If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.
- vegan
- soft spoken
- patient
- hands scarred/calloused from work
- creases in face from smiling
- casual manner/attire
- walks around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
- puts their shopping trolley away, bonus if they round up others
- mocks authority
- is kind to children and listens to them seriously
i see your mocks authority and raise you an acab.
these are good green flags. I see the flak youre getting from folks doing the whole “make fun of vegans on the internet” thing, and wanted to say that the vegans Ive met irl have been really chill folks that are willing to make sacrifices for a better society. idk why vegans get trashed on online for sharing the long list of pros for veganism, as if people don’t share opinions online all the time.
personally, I’m on a reduce animal products in ways i can with an occasional “treat yo-self” day, but that’s mostly because ive lived a lot of my life being poor and havent always been able to select my own diet.
excited for more lab grown options, and I love when vegan options exist because they are usually unique, delicious, and dont have dairy(am allergic).
We’re all on our own journey. I spent 25 years eating, wearing, or otherwise using our fellow earthlings to various degrees before I realised I didn’t want to be someone who kills when I don’t have to.
I am grateful for what kindness you practice and I hope you will continue to reflect on your relationship with earthlings.
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English5•1 year ago
Mocking authority is a green flag?
Of course, authority is a pretty fucked up concept as implemented in our society. It’s almost always nothing more than the threat of violence for not subsuming your own needs to the needs of another. The other usually claiming that privilege through nonsense like birthright, wealth, closeness to power structures or similar.
Anyone who uses such a ridiculous thing is at best a fool. Calling out injustice and laughing at awful people is definitely a green flag.
Consider say the difference between interacting with a cop and a firefighter. The cop claims authority, do what they say or be tortured into compliance. The firefighter has no authority and yet I’ll bet you trust everything they say a lot more than the cop and are far more willing to cooperate.
Mocking authority for me would be a red flag as it’s a sign of immaturity. The people in my life that do this are the ones that tend to be emotionally rash, and inability to control emotions is a huge red flag.
However not just submitting to authority and being confident enough to stand up to it while being respectful, that’s a green flag.
why respect someone who’s threatening you? That’s the implicit case with authority “bow to me or I will make you suffer”
Who gains anything there except the authoritarian? Why do you want people to respect that?
We get on with each other fine without it.
What do you gain from treating them with disrespect, other than escalation? Nobody likes being disrespected, regardless of whether or not they deserve / have earned that respect. By operating on a baseline of “give people the benefit of the doubt and treat them with respect by default” you open a world of constructive / logical discussion that would be closed if you were emotional.
To me, mocking someone is a person’s way of saying “I don’t have a well thought out argument against X, so I’ll just give it a nickname and talk shit about it”.
If you have to think of one person who is famous for mocking anyone / anything they don’t like, who would it be? For me, the first person that comes to mind is Trump. Is that someone who is worth modelling your behaviour after?
ability to reasonable and critical common sense thinking, when it’s against the hive mind of their surroundings – > greenest of all green flags 😉
- Call me Lenny/Leni ( @shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee ) English5•1 year ago
I’m infamous for understanding to an extent, but that’s like saying “Japanese police are bad, therefore being in the Yakuza is a green flag”. I too am not that fond of authority, but that doesn’t make every robber a Robin Hood.
I missed this.
Violent thugs claim authority regardless of the source. The cops claim the law enables them to torture you into compliance, the gangs claim it by right of might.
The reason is not relevant, laugh at them all (where doing so won’t get you killed).
This doesn’t mean fuck rules or cooperation. If my friends and I play a board game we all agree to be bound by collective rules for the pursuit of some mutual fun. Of course nobody has authority in the same sense, anyone is free to say “I don’t think this rule is fun, can we change it?” or “I’m not having fun right now, I’m sorry but I’d like to stop playing”.
I love people who help others, I just also love it when those helpful people burst out laughing when someone says “that’s Mr Bossman to you!”.
As to your reply to other person, yeah a lot of people don’t respect authority and laugh at it. I think it’s a green flag. Some people kiss the ring and lick the boot. Those people scare me because I can’t think of any reason except that they dream of being over another.
Seems you are using that brain again. Didn’t school teach you not to do that?
Cop and firefighter was a good example.
The firefighter is an authority on fire safety, and shouldn’t be mocked for that authority
There’s a lot of writing on subtle details of sorts of authority and it’s a bit of a problem with language.
You could say that you voluntarily grant the firefighter temporary authority in some circumstances or whatever but to avoid quibbling over language for essays let’s agree that there is a difference between someone imposing authority vs an individual deciding to believe someone should be listened to because of some domain expertise.
It’s probably due to autism traits but “mocking authority” sounds like just mocking anyone relying on previous experience or education rather being able to justify their position in the situation at hand. Compare to the logical fallacy of “relying on authority”
When it comes to fire safety, I don’t need to know exactly with sources why some areas need to be “fire cells” while other areas, similar in my eyes, doesn’t if the information comes from a fire fighter. I rely completely on his/her authority on the matter and doesn’t need any more evidence to let the fire fighter enforce those laws and regulations.
Im guessing that in this context “authority” in the thread starter text is shorthand for “perceived authority by the enforcer without real and safe recourse for the person having authority enforced upon”?
Since both the cop and fire fighter have means of legal repercussions if their authority is not followed I mean.
I’m not sure I follow. For the purposes of my example the firefighter has no legal recourse if you don’t listen. They’re just random volunteers where I live.
I don’t want to get too hung up on definitions because that’s counter productive I think. So what I’m talking about is that sometimes humans rely on power, real or perceived, in order to demand that others subsume their own desires and submit to those of the powerful.
Examples are police and other violent gangs - do what I say or I shoot you, capitalists - work for me or I will starve you, shitty parents - do what I say or I will hurt you.
I am calling that authority, notice that at no point is there consent from the person authority is being claimed over (it’s not consent if it’s coerced).
On the other hand people sometimes agree to perform certain roles with each other, or to be bound by certain rules in order to undertake some endeavour. For example when I am teaching my niece science she agrees to solve the problems I ask her to solve, but there is no coercion here. She is free to say at any moment “no” and I am free to either withdraw my offer to teach, ask a different question, propose a break or whatever else. Similarly working groups might elect someone among them to manage a project, but this isn’t authority (as I have defined above) if they are free to relect a project manager, refuse directions or whatever.
Various writers have waffled to varying extents trying to pin down specific definitions. I side with those who think it’s clearer to distinguish between the two social arrangements by not calling the second one authority.
Where I live the fire fighters are a professional force tasked with emergency tasks as well as enforcing compliance with fire safety regulations, as an example an association I work with had to pay a fine due to having some of the smoke detectors non functioning. Thats an authority I have no issue with, with goes back to the word “mocking” authority rather than “questioning” authority.
One sounds like the refusal of having another party authority over oneself, the latter implies a valuation if the authority is proper, fitting and reasonable or not.
What do you mean with
walking around other earthlings on footpaths etc instead of through
Is an earthling a human, an animal, a plant or subsets of those three? And what is walking through an earthling?
I’m geniuenly curious, I have no idea what you mean.
Earthlings are all of us, all sentient beings. We are from earth, we are the earthlings.
Like not just plowing through birds foraging, or lizards sunbaking, or ants doing a nuptial flight or whatever.
Considering others’ right to use space equal to their own.
That makes much more sense, my first intuition was passing people on the sidewalk which… doesn’t seem like a red flag.
You said vegan. That explains the downvotes… And you said it as the first point even. Next time leave it for last!
I’m not going to hide my values. They’re not shameful
ikr, ITT, people getting mad they don’t fit into / agree with a strangers green flag list. The world is a wild place and I hope it’s not as hostile or absurd as I believe it is.
The V word makes people go nuts because they know they ought to be.
Notice how nobody is flipping out about my preference for people unfraid of getting their hands dirty, or imagine if I had written Buddhist. Would anyone have replied that it’s a red flag for them or written weird fantasies about anti Buddhist violence?
It upsets people because we all know killing animals is wrong. It’s easy and it’s tasty though. We tell ourselves it’s ok because everyone else is, but then a vegan comes along and the illusion shatters.
At the time of writing, the comment only has 32% downvotes.
Lemmy is a lot more vegan friendly than most places on the internet.
- Omega_Haxors ( @Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ) 2•1 year ago
A lot of the hatred of vegens comes from fossil fascists, and they get banned here.
Sounds awesome!
Yeah, that sounds like a fun dude (I’m assuming dude given the kind of work he does). I’ve never met him, though.
my wife is the light of my life .
Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally
Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don’t have to
Only kicks upwards, not downwards. Has a backbone and principles. Doesn’t value money over meaning. Likes to teach people instead of putting oneself over them.
They’re self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don’t judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.
Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.
People who treat others who cannot benefit them well. For example, wait staff.
- Omega_Haxors ( @Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ) 17•1 year ago
They actually show up, or, failing that, tell you they aren’t going to show up and summarize why and when the next best time is.
They’re a fucking weirdo like me and so don’t mind being goofy a good bit of the time.
mine is similar, they laugh at my jokes and can also continue them
I should probably add my own. They like plants
Oh yeah, must have. Bonus points if their house plants are prickly or poisonous.
They talk about Pokemon in the first date and will defend gen whatever while still calling it shit.
First Gen, the game is fucking broken as fuck. But it’s also the most memorable and iconic one. I think with little tweaking in types and mechanics in Gen 1, you could have the perfect pokémon game.
But since it was the first, a lot of shit wasn’t discovered and explored.
Red flag for me. I’m all for people having hobbies, but bringing up niche hobbies from childhood would not be great. I’m sure 2 fans would get along great. However, it would be odd to bring up with another adult who is not a known fan.
Why is Pokemon exclusively a childhood thing?
It’s a show marketed at kids. Manu adults like it as they grew up with it. Manu adultsike the games, but those unfamiliar are not starting as adults.
For me, it’s not about having a childhood hobby you still enjoy. It’s about not having the social awareness to not being it up on a first date. In context, sure, why not, if you walked by a poster or kid playing and it became a topic of conversation. But as a topic of conversation whose purpose is to get to know each other, I’d be worried they never matured.
I still.play video games from my childhood almost daily, when I get the chance. I won’t chat about combos or new sf6 characters with strangers or a first date.
Pokemon being marketed to kids isn’t the same as Pokemon being a kids’ game, especially when a huge chunk of the community around the franchise are late teens/adults. Sure, don’t bring it up randomly, but I honestly don’t see how games are different from sports, knitting, anime, or any other hobby in that regard. Someone being passionate about something --whether it’s games or anything else-- shouldn’t really impact your perception of their maturity.
Yes, but that’s partly my point. The teens and adults that are fans are only fans due to playing as kids, likely due to marketing to them. That’s not to say any game is good or bad, but to me it’s a sign of immaturity to bring it up. I’d have similar red flags with someone discussing non kid hobbies if I showed little interest. If someone wants to chat football or handbags, I’d equally want out. It’s a know your audience problem. If have no problem dating a Pokemon fan and I’d probably take up the game to play with them. My issue is being so into it it’s all you want to talk about on a first date. It would strine me as immature.
If we were discussing hobbies and they briefly brought it up, that wouldn’t be a red flag, per se.
