I’ve had a ‘passion’ for programming for all my life, but recently I’ve been getting into a very, very emotional state over stuff like tooling and small things like that. The smallest things make me go off these days, and I feel so tired after every discussion. Feeling like I am in the wrong or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I wish I could just make it all go away or somehow be happy or succeed some day. I never will tho
I understand where you’re coming from but it’s just so frustrating to have others point out my mistakes in speech instead of actually listening to what I’m talking about… Or even worse making weird arguments and laughing at me when I ask for clarification… I hate it all I want to make the awful emotions stop
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ADHD + Aspergers :/
Sadly can’t really get out as I do OSS work and have to argue with people in OSS projects
And yeah I’m still figuring myself out, being 18 never really fixed anything and I feel awful about my past even though I’ve succeded a lot according to my peers…
I can’t really satisfy myself and just work work work work and work
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That pit inside you won’t be filled by accomplishments, at least it wasn’t for me. The only peace I found was by accepting I’ll always feel that pit, and that I don’t need to try and fill it. The pit is an illusion, you are already valid!