My parents have been giving a lot of mixed signals so indon’t know if I can come out or not.

On one hand they don’t talk shit and don’t get pissy about pride flags and stuff and actually seem supportive. On the other they are extremely religious. To the point where they get pissed when I don’t want to go to church. Wish I had a clear answer. Extended family is even worse. Everyone is extremely

I don’t even know why I bother. Everything has been crashing down recently. My family is probably unaccepting. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend left me. Don’t know why I keep going. I’m just sick and tired

  •  azureeight   ( @azureeight@beehaw.org ) 
    3•1 year ago

    It doesn’t sound like he returns your adoration and love with respect and care like he should. Age gap, is he older? That sucks that he was able to wrap himself in you and then has shown you now twice he doesn’t care enough to be straight with you.

    Im sorry a man like that stole your heart. I hope you’ll be able to see if he can’t talk to you straight, what kind of partner is he really? A man like that isnt dependable enough to build a life with.

    It sounds more like you don’t want to be alone than that he has much good to offer you. I know your parents dont show love dependability ao you think everyone is like that, that it’s to be expected and what you deserve. But real people who love you don’t run and hide from bad feelings, they stand by your side when things get hard.

    He doesn’t sound like he was every building a life with you, just liked your affection. And don’t feel the need to return it. Try not to let someone like that continue using you. The pain you feel is compounded because you know this isnt how loving people treat one another.

    •  sleepybisexual   ( @sleepybisexual@beehaw.org ) OP
      1•1 year ago

      Yes he’s older. I’m 14 he’s turning 17 in august The first time it was for less than 24 hours and considering his mental health I didn’t blame him. At this point we weren’t in a relationship yet too. I felt safe with him. I was happy when he would talk to me. I could tell him anything.

      The month or so we were talking was probably the best month of my life. I’m jistt scared he might not be safe at the moment

      •  azureeight   ( @azureeight@beehaw.org ) 
        1•1 year ago

        If he was as good as you say, he would be worried about you right now. He would have talked to you and been honest, not cryptic and confusing.

        What you described can be had in a friendship. Nothing he offered that you explained is special or even showing a special connection to you. He listened and talked to you like an equal, and that feels amazing if you have never had that. But that’s not really a relationship, especially not when he shows he’s only good to you when his life is good and easy. Aren’t you able to put yourself aside to listen to him? Would YOU ever do this to anyone you love for any reason?

        probably not, cause you sound empathetic and kind. a good, kind person maybe makes one mistake. not twice, not threatening self harm. That’s just textbook abuse.

      •  azureeight   ( @azureeight@beehaw.org ) 
        2•1 year ago

        Truth is, you need to be loyal to yourself hun. This guy, as great as you say he is, either doesn’t care enough to be straight with you or isn’t well enough to be in a relationship. You gotta focus on you, that’s why you’re lost without him. That’s not how any relationship should be. He should make you stronger for the time you were together, not you be a mess and unable to go on. That’s not a good person. That’s not someone to build a future with.

        He should have taken your hand and talked to you, been honest and forthright, so you both could tackle it together, at least emotionally.

        His actions show he isn’t as good for you as you felt. He was a drug, but he wasn’t improving your mental health, he just helped get you through the day and helped you forget. That’s not going to last.