The point of the meme isn’t about whether you personally would want to sleep with someone who is trans, and whether that makes you a good person or not, its about how the first, second, and last thing a lot of people think about wrt trans people is whether they are fuckable or not. Its not good to objectify people, if you do it is transphobic/sexist/racist/whatever dehumanizing. But if you see trans people as people, and respect their gender, their right to express themselves openly even if you aren’t sexually attracted to them, then this meme will never be a problem for you. And if you feel personally attacked by this meme, try and figure out why, because it’s probably not about you. Don’t be a creep isn’t that complicated, folks
This post is massive chaser erasure.
We need more chaser erasure.
Weird how they feel the need to announce it instead of just having it. Almost like announcing it serves a social function, and it is obvious if you frame the same phenomenon through another bias:
“I only sleep with blond haired blue eyed white women”
Also fuck you have no idea how often I hear something about how trans women are unfuckable after turning a guy down.
I’ve heard of people who have complained about trans people showing up in their dating feed, mixed in with the cis population, being labelled as “transphobes” and harassed, but good to know that we’ve overcome that.
Isn’t the idea of the dating feed that you can choose whom to date and whom to ignore?
Partly. A feed is typically a set of rules showing you only your interests and filtering out everything else, and within this subset you then go about choosing.
Ideally we would not only have “women\men\bi” categories, but also “orthodox (cis only)\regular(mixed)\frisky(trans only)” categories. Otherwise, we might run into the problems which Saltesc describes, now that being trans is becoming more commonplace.
There needs to be space for everybody (or “everybody whom I don’t mind” depending on who you ask, sad lol), but while choices always have some consequences, we need to be careful that our freedom of choice doesn’t become another’s choice of freedom. I think trans people are (sadly) very well acquainted with this.
Calling the trans-only category “frisky” is certainly a choice. Let’s keep it to “all/non-cis/non-trans” and we can avoid cisnormative language altogether.
You’re perfectly entitled to not want to have sex with anyone based on any criteria you choose. Your body, your choice.
You are not entitled to filter transgender wo/men out of a “wo/men” category, as to do so fundamentally implies that they are not wo/men.
Now, if we’re talking about allowing people using dating apps to filter based on finer grained criteria, I’m all on board. If you choose to match with women, then trans women and cis women should all be captured by that filter. But if they add the ability to filter down to “women AND afab people” where all criteria must be met, then you can have your desired category.
But if we are going to do that, then I’d ask to also have a category to filter out people who have filtered out transgender people, because as a transgender person that’s obviously not gonna work. And many non-trans queer folk may want to also filter out people who filter out trans people, since queer folk tend to have a much more open approach to gender in dating in my experience and that’s not so compatible with someone who doesn’t.
Buuuuuuut… Dating apps don’t care about letting users filter down to such a granular level, because a large portion of their business model relies on people swiping for ages to find people that meet their criteria (or! Buy our premium package and unlock better filters! Which won’t work very well because people haven’t filled their profiles in to that degree!). So you’re probably stuck with trans folk in your feed, and they’re stuck with you. Lose lose.
Also, no human being is obligated to share what their assigned gender at birth was with any dating app. So even if we had these filters, a bunch of cis folk are probably just going to mark themselves as their gender, and a bunch of trans folk are gonna do the same(especially as outing yourself as trans can be horrendously dangerous in some situations), and neither will mark down their assigned gender at birth. And then the “assigned gender at birth” filter is gonna be somewhat worthless to the people who want to use it.
So maybe the best option is just to keep swiping past people who you think are unattractive (which might include some trans people).
[Laughs in pansexual]