Your parents: “We are proud of you to the same extent that we are proud of ketchup”
Immortality pill and a pill that can kill someone who is immortal (for when I get bored).
Edit: Properly labeled!
Seems like you would be okay if you took them in any order, but man would you be pissed in 60 trillion years if they were wrong off the bat.
maybe instead of a pill that can kill an immortal you get a pill that can de-immortal an immortal. That way you still get the element of surprise. Everyone likes surprises, right?
It would mean more for me to be proud of my dad.
Also, mustard.
I hear you.
You spend your life trying to satisfy the rules of conditional love with nothing but severe negative feedback dotted with moments of seemingly genuine affection… only for it all to be dashed away at the slightest perceived sleight (e.g. you didn’t visit one weekend because you had to juggle your own life).
At this point I’m living with the idea that a form of unconditional love exists deep deep within, but is unable to express itself because it’s overpowered by sheer narcissism (the me me me generation were never taught introspection). Why show pride or affection to your kids when petty jealousy and vindictiveness are the main defining traits of your generation.
I hold onto the good memories as hard as I can (there are quite a few nice ones), but I try not to get my hopes up anymore about the relationship. It is what it is.
I had an old coworker who came from the UK (ex military in UK and Navy in US) ask me to grab him a burrito bowl one time at work, I askes whag he wanted in it and he said to tell the person to pack it like his wife was going on vacation and was only allowed one bag. That may be sexist/stereotyping and offensive, but I used that line the next time I got a street dog and he knew exactly what I meant.
deleted by creator
Sorry we don’t offer that here… oh no I mean you can have as much ketchup as you like.
onion and mayo :)
mayo and mayo
A hotdog with all the toppings I like and a million bucks
You’ll then immediately lose their favor after you put ketchup on a hotdog
Mustard and pickle slices for me!
Dijon mustard and relish for me.
That’s a lot of wieners…
Relish and diced white onion
two more hotdogs
Mayonnaise and sweet relish.
