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Screenshot of a tweet by @feralhousepuppy: hey so you’ve been calling me “bro”, “man”, and “dude” a lot and it’s really invalidating to my masculinity cause those are all gender neutral things you call trans women :/
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I really wish there was a word that was as useful as “dude” but without the gender connotation.
I tried swapping to “fam” and “cuz” but those felt appropriated, I tried “gamer” and “chat” but those felt irony-poisoned, “Sis” and “girl” feel performative. So “dude” it shall be until someone tells me it’s bad, and then they get no objective article at all.
I mean the golden rule with how you speak about people is really just to listen to what people tell you about what makes them feel respected
So feel free to use dude gender neutrally if thats how you speak, and if someone says they don’t feel good in it, stop. If youre worried it might not feel great for someone you can always just say you’re used to using it gender neutrally and ask 🤷🏻♂️
“dude” always felt gender neutral to me (though do note English is my fourth language…).
And if you look at the etymology of the word, gender neutrality makes some sense.
It started out as slang in the late 1800s mocking “hyper-fashionable young urban men”.
Then the early 20th century it transformed to describe tourists from the East Coast on the Western side of the country (see “dude ranches”).
And then in the 60-70s it transformed thanks to surfer slang, back to being male oriented.
I’d say if you’re uncomfortable with the “dude” form of the term… use “dood” instead. Or even “d00d” if you’re feeling l33t h4xx0r.
So in your examples, it went from making fun of a type of men, to referring to the overwhelmingly-male owners of hobby ranches, to referring to male surfers.
When exactly was it ever gender neutral?
No…
You got the second part wrong. It wasn’t the “overwhelmingly male owners of hobby ranches” that were called dudes, but, if you read my comment again, you’ll notice I specifically said the UNGENDERED tourists hailing from the east coast - primarily city folk - visiting rural western areas, ranches.
The 80s and 90s skater culture. We’re all dudes https://youtu.be/iKYXmjfQY4U
“cunt” kinda works
Tovarășe! Să trăiți!
I don’t like dude as gender neutral and don’t think I ever will. I’ll stick with “fam,” “friend,” and “homie” (then again, I am Hispanic, so that might not work for everyone)
Always thought mate was fantastic but it sounds weird when Americans use it
Well, I’m Canadian, but I assure you it doesn’t sound any better coming from us.
America should refer to the continent anyway
just say “baby”.
Thanks, baby! :D
hmnawawwaw---- yea see, like, that works maybe and when it does it usually makes the recipient excited which is a wonderful bonus ~
bae 2
hmm i can see it but that one would be more difficult to read when you aren’t used to it.
when saying it. it’s a very open-mouthed sound so peeps will probably think they didn’t understand you right, while
babyhas a rather distinct and complete-feeling kinda sound i think.EDIT: it would sound nice tho once peeps know you use that sound-word for everyone >v<
ya, “bae” in very district.
I prefer homie
Comrade?
“what up cuh”
personally a fan of comrade, friend or pal.
but i also really kinda do use guy and dude gender neutrally. Accidentally have called everyone i know dude at some point. P sure i called my mom dude several timea.
but also aware some people dont like that so i makr a point of asking if know/suspect theyve a non cis gender identity, or correct as needed if asked.
people only really take it badly if its the first time meeting and theres doubt to ones priorities. People are generally very forgiving if you establish intent and willingness to respect each other in my experience
Dudette! Though I honestly stick with dude, i use dudette only if it bothers them;
let’s go for: hello beings
I like folks but it’s pleural so only works for groups.
“howdy folks 🤠”
add.:
- buddy/bub
- homeslice
- boo
- yo
- heya
- yosh
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Imo new words should be created for these things. Like how about
zude?
The one that gets me is ‘bud’ I had a roommate that would all ways say things like ‘yeah bud. that’s because ****’ when explaining anything and I had to put a firm stop to it. It was so patronizing.
i like being called bud cuz it makes me feel small.
I like bud, but don’t like being patronized.
Makes me think of the, “I’m not your pal, buddy!” Canadians skit from South Park
If you’re me, you can say, “sup, y’all”
For more context, this works when greeting one person or a group. If you need to specify that you’re addressing the group, the plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.
I really wish inheritantly masculine words weren’t always ending up the “gender neutral” defaults.
I can’t help but feel like ever since being out over the last 2 years, friends are calling me “man” or “dude” in a neutral sense way more often than they ever did before despite them being supportive and it just feels too me like petting a cat in the wrong direction. I know I need to be more vocal in it making me uncomfortable but I’ve always tried to avoid confrontation so it’s hard
If you call a trans woman any of these things you are morally and legally obligated to give her $20 each time.
In Spanish we just say “you”. It’s really terrible in Arabic where you have feminine and masculine “you”.
It’s really terrible in Arabic where you have feminine and masculine “you”.
Apparently some Arabic-speaking enbys use the dual form أنتما but as most dialects have lost dual inflections, that’s not really practical in day-to-day speech.
And then gender every other word.
“Guys” and “dude” are gender neutral in my book.
Ask a straight man if he fucks guys or dudes and see how gender neutral those terms are
“Dude” is a hill I’ll die on. We already tried “dudette” in the 80s/90s. It was pretty universally hated. Dude was established as the preferred gender neutral term in the late 90s/early 00s at the great council of high school students.
i fucking hate being called bro (ignore my username its outdated)
I’m pretty sure you can change your display name on Lemmy.
my instance doesnt let me but it might be a bug
update: using another client (jerboa) i managed to do it
if you wouldn’t be thrilled to be called dudette maybe don’t call people dude without knowing they are cool with it, same with being called sis for bro
also consider that if you are a cis guy being called something you don’t really align with can be a fun novelty as a rare thing but as a woman being referred to with male default language /all/ the time by mostly men becomes eventually pretty grating (and having to either put up with the mild annoyance every time or having to speak up and have it be a “thing” with every new guy calling you dude or bro is just irritating in the way a refrigerator making a quiet but annoying whining buzz all the time might be.)
Ah, I knew me mimicking my English vocabulary on a British Geordie will one day come in handy.
I call people “pet” or “flower” :P
Never heard anyone use bro, man or dude; I think its not used by people outside USA lango-sphere.
if someone needs to refer to me in a gender neutral way they can always use “your majesty”, “comrade”, “accomplice”, “shoddy imitation of a human”, among many more :3
Good Burger shoulda taught you we all dudes
I’ve found that “homie” works well
