Hiya!
My partner (AFAB, Cis) and I (AMAB, MtF NB) recently tried a strap, I’ve done anal stuff on myself in the past, but never got much from it.
I’m not sure if it was the size that I was taking, the curvature, or the fact that it was someone else thrusting much harder and faster than I’d done on myself before; but this felt really good, like I thought I was gonna cum in two pumps good.
And I probably would’ve, if it wasn’t also for the almost equivalent amount of pain I got from it; it was like a cold burning, and rather sharp.
We thought maybe I just needed some warm-up, but even then that didn’t really make it go away.
I’ve ordered myself a much bigger toy than I was using previously, and a set of butt plugs too, to try and see if I just need more practice for my body to get used to having things go in there.
I thought I’d put this up to see if anyone could give any advice as to what we, or me, can do to hopefully get over this? Like I said, it felt great, and we both really enjoyed it, so we’re both extremely eager to do this on the regular.
Thanks for your time!
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Thank you so much for all of that, I’ll look into getting a dilator, and I’ll make practice just a regular part of my evening schedule. 🩵
Can I dm you about the fissure stuff?
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Based on my own experience, there’s a few things that could help with this in the future.
Don’t underestimate the power of just relaxing a bit.
Make sure to warm up with a plug or another toy before hand.
More lube and more practice.
I’ll take those three on-board, thank you!
Did you just shove the big strap in without using fingers or a smaller toy first? If yes: take it slow and do a bit of warm up first. And even then start slow. Guide your partner through it and tell them when it hurts. Only start to go fast er/harder once slow and careful feels good/doesnt hurt. And in general if you are training with bigger toys it will definetly get better.
Honestly? Mostly yes… which was definitely a big part of where we went wrong. I prepped myself with my fingers but only for like a minute. After we realised that it wasn’t working we did try just going slow and bit-by-bit but I think the damage had been done by that point.
But yes, the toy I’ve got coming is much larger than even the strap we used, which already was a decent amount larger than the first toy I’d been using, so hopefully I should be pretty alright soon.
Slower, More lube (just keep adding it), and more gradually.
Also make sure to do exercises after each size step up to strengthen the muscle lining.
Could you elaborate on exercises please?
Pelvic Floor Exercises aka Kegel Exercises.
More lube, preferable something not water based as it tends to be absorbed fast. Go with something silicone or oil based (avoid oil based if using latex condoms it will degrade them).
And like, if you think “wow that is a lot of lube” you need more lube lol. They make injector applicators you can buy to slurp up lube and insert to inject that are really fucking handy to have.
I have some kind of weird sensitivity to propylene glycol, whereas glycerin or coconut oil is fine. Check what’s in your lube and compare it to when it didn’t hurt.
Also the material of the strap makes a big difference too. For me personally, one of the best feeling texture and firmness combinations is the flesh kind, so I look for anything that matches that. A lot of them pretty much do, but cost more.
Finally, just how much I want it changes a lot. If that’s what I’m really craving, I barely even need lube lol.
Those are probably the biggest considerations for me, might be different for you though!
