I hear “No problem” far more often.
Years ago, I had to do customer service training for a job, and one thing they said is to always say “you’re welcome” instead of “no problem”, because some people think “no problem” is rude. But I think it’s a generational thing, and it’s kind of the opposite with younger folks.
I think a lot of younger generation, myself included, prefer casual responses, conflating professionalism with being rude, slimy, or otherwise malintentioned
I think we collectively decided that “you’re welcome” doesn’t make sense. Welcome to what??
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 6•6 months ago
Welcome to what??
Isn’t that obvious? You’re welcome to the thing you received. The thing you are thanking them for.
I had to do one communucation trainung where the trainer saud that saying “no problem” should not be used, because it implies there might’ve been a problem. I was not convinced though.
Then “your welcome” implies you might not be welcome. Seems like either both work or both are problematic, he can’t have it both ways.
Agreed. Might also be because “problem” is a word with negative conotation? Idk, I don’t see a problem (hah) myself
Wow. facepalm The words literally say there’s no problem, and yet it somehow implies there is a problem? Talk about overthinking what someone is saying.
This is why I often hate neurotypical communication styles. The world would be a lot more straightforward if people just said what they meant. Jesus fucking Christ on a motorbike…
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 3•6 months ago
It doesn’t imply that there is a problem. It implies that there would have been a problem, if it hadn’t been generously waived by the “no problem”.
During my years in retail exactly one customer ever had a problem with me saying “no problem”. He also said he was an assassin. That’s not a joke. This old, fat boomer said I shouldn’t say ‘no problem’ because some people might take it to mean ‘yes problem’ and then told me he kills people for a living.
That’s the stability of people that can’t understand the meaning of words. If I go to a police station and say I am a serial killer vs I’m not a serial killer, I don’t expect them to react the same…
But what about “No problem at all”?
I see “no problem” as nicer. If I say that, I’m expressing that I really don’t mind, and there’s no need to thank me. No problem, as in I had no problem with doing this thing
“You’re welcome” feels more like “I appreciate you thanking me, because I went out of my way to do this”, if that makes any sense
Huh, to me, YW is much more gracious and positive that you’re happy to do it, while NP is more like “it was a tolerable burden”.
Though for paid service I don’t like expected faux enthusiasm. I think “of course” is classy and not demeaning then, meaning “it’s what I’m here for”.
In German, “you’re welcome” means “gern geschehen” which can be translated back to “I did it gladly”. So yea, I also think YW is very positive
See, that’s much closer to “(It was) my pleasure”, which is a valid English response (though these days it puts people in the mind of “Chick-fil-A employee”) than it is “You’re welcome”.
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 7•6 months ago
Except “no problem” traditionally means “no problem [despite this situation containing a likely problem]”.
It means the person being thanked has gone outside their set of responsibilities to help you.
Like “Thanks for letting us borrow your spare tire so we could get our car back to town” -> “no problem”.
Here the other person had no responsibility to help with the others’ flat tire, much less lend out a piece of their own safety equipment.
“You’re welcome” is the one which means “It is perfectly expected in our current roles that I would have provided this”.
And I see it totally opposite. Interesting.
Also, can you cite this “traditionally” you reference?
Languages change over time. As long as the intent is clear, don’t get hung up on what is and isn’t “correct”. “You’re welcome” probably was seen as extreme at some point itself.
I mean, I’m fully on board with not getting hung up on what’s “correct”, but these are words that do have a specific meaning and I do find it interesting that the preferred choice of words shifts (even if it is only caused by relatively few people, that actually think about their word choice there).
Specifically, “no problem” is kind of like saying “there’s nothing to thank me for”. And ultimately, it kind of says “I don’t expect something in return”.
Whereas “you’re welcome” acknowledges that yes, I did help you, you are right to thank me for that, and also kind of “I would appreciate you returning the favor”.
My personal theory is that the change in language happens, because we have a lot more contacts with strangers, either in big/foreign cities or online.
When you help a stranger, you know upfront that they won’t be able to return the favor, simply because you won’t stay in contact. So, not only should it definitely not be a personal sacrifice for you to help them, it also feels right to communicate that they don’t owe you anything, so that they can go on in their life.- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 2•6 months ago
No “You’re welcome” means “You deserved that thing already”.
That’s why the Spanish equivalent is “de nada”. It means “You’re thanking me for something that was already yours”
I don’t disagree with your interpretation of “you’re welcome”. At the end of the day, it is still a phrase which sort of weakens a “thanks”, out of politeness.
I’m saying that there’s a difference between “you deserved that thing already” and “there was nothing I did, which anyone would need to be deservent of”.And “de nada” is actually a bad example here. Yes, the dictionary will tell you that it’s a valid translation for “you’re welcome”, but the actual words translate verbatim to “of nothing”, as in “you’re thanking me for nothing”. So, “de nada” is very much like “no problem” in Spanish.
Giving permission by saying yes to a “would you mind” question is the hill I die on. Usually I say “I would not mind” but if I’m feeling frisky I’ll say no and watch their brain melt.
you can say “you’re welcome”, its no problem
you can also say “no problem”
hope this helps, you’re welcome
I saw a post a while back that said millennials use “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome” because no problem signifies the act was of little effort and was no problem to do. However, “you’re welcome” implies entitlement, as in you are welcomed to my time and effort, or some shit. I don’t remember, but yeah, just a “generational thing.”
So yeah it’s a “can I speak to your manager” boomer thing, as usual. Only group I ever see getting their panties in a wad over a phrase. Just like “Merry Christmas” changing to “Happy Holidays” erases their religion or dares to put other similar holidays, in the same approximate time of the year on equal footing, making their religious holiday less significant.
The appropriate response is that the debt must be repaid in kind, within the fortnight, lest their house fall into disrepute
Or, simply: noblesse oblige.
Actually, this might be the absolutely most obnoxious possibly response, especially in English. I’ve heard it used unironically in French, and I think I recall hearing it used sardonically in English. Anyone else?
The only time I say those words, Noblesse Oblige, is when I joined a clan of the same name in Kingdom of Loathing. I was still confused then and we just called it NO.
“You’re welcome” was always taught to me as the proper thing, but sounds slightly stilted. They express the same sentiment, roughly, but “[it was] no problem” is arguably clearer about it. I personally just think it’s a slightly “nicer” nuance.
Of course, sometimes maybe it actually was a problem, and then I’d only say it if going out of my way to be nice about it.
Disclaimer: These are just my dumb thoughts with zero scientific evidence. Consider the opinion accordingly.
I think it’s tied to how overwhelmed everyone is at all times now. Part of it is often “thanks” is said while someone is beelining out the door, so you don’t often have an opportunity to even say “you’re welcome.” Further, “no problem” is far more indicative of “actually, you didn’t inconvenience me at all by getting my help” in a society where everyone is absolutely time-starved due to overwork/underpay. It’s saying to the person saying “thank you” that “it’s okay to have minorly inconvenienced me, it was worth doing anyway.”
Because yes, I am more likely to say “no problem” at this point than “you’re welcome” because most of the time I am dispensing technical information and advice that people usually have to pay to get. That’s the other aspect of it too, we’ve normalized that you have to pay to get anything decent (service or product) and so people offering technical skills and advice outside of a payment plan is definitely viewed differently.
“You’re welcome” is valid but just doesn’t play well in a fast-paced society where everyone expects to have to pay through the nose for decent help and generally doesn’t have the time to give out those kind of favors themselves.
in a society where everyone is absolutely time-starved due to overwork/underpay
“You’re welcome” can almost appear condescending or stuck up in those situations whereas “No problem” comes across as an attempt to be a little more genuine
It’s funny you say that because some older people see no problem as rude. Like I know it wasn’t a problem haha
that’s when you hit them with “okay, boomer”
Most languages respond something like “it’s nothing”, de nada. English is a little weird saying “welcome”.
Well, in German we say “bitte” or “gern geschehen”, which is close to the “welcome”. Of course, people can and do also say “kein Problem”. I guess in my experience it depends on how I feel about the task and the person I did it for.
Thai/Lao is ไม่เป็นไร/ບໍ່ເປັນຫຍັງ translated as (implied subject “it”) + negation marker + copula + anything or “it’s nothing”
It varies regionally. While “you’re welcome” is not at all unusual in the UK, it’s nowhere near as expected and standard as it is in the US.
I often hear “not at all” as a response, just like “de nada”. It’s also common in the UK not to respond at all, as the thanks are expected.
“You’re welcome” is a silly colonial affectation. In British English you just shut up and smile.
Stiff upper lip and all that.
Hey do you guys know what “you’re welcome” is in Spanish? “De Nada” which means “of nothing”. Sounds almost like, “no problem”.
This phrase isn’t new, either. It’s been around for centuries, just like the first instances of “you’re welcome”.
Interestingly, Tom Scott did a video about this a few years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGnH0KAXhCw
Interesting and mercifully short, just the way I like my explanatory videos. Thanks for sharing it!
I don’t say it because you are, in fact, not welcome. I finish interactions with customers, even when they say thank you to me, by saying “thank you, have a nice day”, as my non fireable version of “I’ll thank you to kindly fuck off now.”
- intensely_human ( @intensely_human@lemm.ee ) 3•6 months ago
Damn it must suck to hate your customers
You say, as if that sentiment isn’t nearly universal.
thank you, come again.
Language changes over time, and that’s the new etiquette. Though No Problem tends to feel less compulsory to me and so I feel more genuine saying it. Enjoy the world as it changes, because it’ll change just as much if you don’t enjoy it
“My pleasure” is another alternative. I helped you because it makes me feel good, so you’re doing me the favor.
Obsequious in a business setting, but nice in a social situation.
