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Let’s see, generic trans and trans fem advice. Stream of consciousness, no particular order. A lot of these are assuming you’re a binary trans person aiming for a binary transition to female. If passing isn’t something you care about, then a lot of this won’t apply. A lot of this also discusses things that arise from medical transition such as HRT. If that’s not something you want, then some of these won’t apply.

1. If passing is your goal, start working on your voice today. Voice is one of the strongest tells there is. Medical transition is an agonizingly slow process, waiting for hormones to have their time to act, waiting for surgical wait times, etc. But voice is one of the few parts of transition that is effort-based and also costs nothing. Start working on it today; there’s simply no substitute for putting in the work.

2. EYEBROWS!!!

3. When picking out a wardrobe, be sure to dress your age. If you just want to say, “fuck the world, I don’t care what you think!”, fair enough. If you want to transition and assimilate into the world as a functioning adult woman, then you need to dress your age. Wearing skirts that are more appropriate on a 14 year old can be a fun exercise in wish fulfillment and making up for lost time, but dressing your age is essential if you actually want to assimilate in to the social role of a late 20s woman.

4. START PEOPLE WATCHING. Seriously. Go to a mall, a farmer’s market, or some other location large groups congregate. Look at people. Actually look at them. Observe the subtle differences in behavior between men and women. Body language. Posture. Speech patterns. This is also how you figure out how to dress your age. Don’t creep on people. But just subtly observe. Yes, some gender rebels will lament that you shouldn’t have to appeal to feminine standards of behavior, and that gender is a social construct. But “construct” does not mean “meaningless.” If your goal is to actually transition and live as a woman in this society, you’ll need to adopt most of the social norms of the female gender. This doesn’t mean that you need to appeal to every stereotype; you can be a tomboy. But if your behaviors fall entirely within society’s social construct of the male gender, you will be gendered male. Once you observe these behaviors, start practicing them and changing yours to match.

5. If you are seeking medical transition, you are responsible for your own transition. Not your doctor. You. Really internalize this. Trust but verify everything your doctor tells you. Good trans medicine is the exception, not the rule. If you transition and live for years as trans, you will experience mistreatment in healthcare. You will likely be underdosed. There’s a good chance your doctor will tell you your E levels are fine when you’re sitting there with levels of a post-menopausal woman. Trust but verify everything your doctor says. After bloodwork, NEVER simply listen to your doctor when they just say, “your levels are fine.” Insist on seeing the actual numbers yourself, and know what range you should be aiming for. People routinely lose years of progress because of doctors humoring trans people with criminal underdosing rather than actually prescribing effective doses. If you need to, DIY. It’s not as scary as you think it is, trans people DIYing is the rule, not the exception. Learn what trans broken arm syndrome is and be on the lookout for it.

6. If you’re looking for name ideas, again, it’s a personal approach thing. If you’re looking for ideas and just want something that won’t stand out, consult the census. At least in the US, the Census publishes a list of the most popular baby names by year, sorted by sex. Go and look up the most popular baby names FOR THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN. Often times trans people will chose a name that is popular today, as in a popular name for babies being born today. This is how you end up with someone in their twenties having a name that seems more appropriate for someone in kindergarten. Names vary in popularity with time. If you choose a name that doesn’t match you age, it will stick out. Same thing if you pick a name from anime or from a culture you’re not a member of. Again, if you don’t care about sticking out, fair enough. But imagine yourself at 60 with your name. That’s the kind of timeframe you need to be thinking about.

7. If doing medical transition and HRT, stockpile stockpile stockpile. Supply disruptions are common, and restarting care can be difficult each time you move.

8. Be prepared for your position in the world to change. Say goodbye to male privilege. (Though trans people rarely get the full privilege level of their birth sex.) Be prepared to change how you physically navigate the world. People will treat you differently. It will become much less safe to walk out alone at night. You may get catcalled. People will expect you to act in a feminine social role. And if you don’t, you will be judged for it. You will get talked over. Your ideas will go unheard. Sticking up for yourself will get you labeled as “difficult” or “aggressive.” Basically you get all the crap that gets piled on cis women, plus the crap that gets piled on trans people.

9. Really talk with your partner. Are they really up for this? Most cis people really don’t understand just how much transition can change. Cis people tend to think of transition as a very cosmetic thing; most don’t even know what hormones do. They think breast implants and genital surgery. That is what transition means to them. They really fail to understand that if you go on HRT, you are very literally altering your sex at a fundamental level. They’re not anticipating the entire smell and pheromone profile of their partner changing. They’re not anticipating the changes in body hair, muscle and fat distribution, genital changes, etc that come with hormones, or even just the change in behavior that often comes with transition. And it’s very common for partners to want to make the relationship work. They’ll say, “I’ll love you no matter what,” and they will actually mean it. But you can’t control what you’re attracted to. If someone is attracted to masculine bodies, they’re attracted to male secondary sex characteristics. They can’t help it. They can’t change it any more than a gay person can choose to be straight. But because cis people think transition is cosmetic, they often feel that as long as they’re not bigoted, they can still love their partner and be with them. Then their partner’s secondary sex characteristics completely flip, and they lose all sexual attraction to them. Personally, if I was in this situation, unless my partner had a clear history of bisexuality - having actually slept with both men and women prior to me transitioning - I would assume the relationship to be doomed. Sometimes people can make it work. But transition in many ways fundamentally changes your sex. You are becoming a woman. If your partner isn’t attracted to cis women, they probably won’t remain attracted to you. You can still remain close lifelong friends, but realistically, the vast majority of relationships that are “straight” at the time one partner comes out end up not working out long term.

10. Learn to dress to your strengths. If you’re like most trans women, you probably have wider shoulders than you would prefer. Certain clothes look good on different body types. Learn how to dress yours.

Sorry for the info dump. This wasn’t meant to be a coherent thing, just a collection of tips and things to think about. I may add others later as well. For background, I’m a trans gal myself. 15 years HRT and living out, 13 post FFS and SRS. I have extensive experience both with the transition process and navigating the world as a newly transitioned woman. Feel free to ask any questions you might have.

I’d say starting hrt (once you’re more sure of who you are) is up there for most important things to do, the effects are life changing and any extra time you can be away from testosterone the better

past that, shave your body and paint your nails. learn makeup if you like and just be ready for a long journey. transition is a marathon, not a sprint!

proud of you for coming out, the hardest person to come to terms with is yourself

Don’t delay HRT. I waited about 4 years between realizing I was trans and getting the hormones. It seemed like a big thing, it sounded scary so I put it off. Biggest regret.

Getting hormones, is a timely process. Seeing results takes even longer. No sense adding extra time to the process without reason.

They can take your pills but not your voice. Practice 5 minutes a day.

Not trans, but I’m very close friends with someone that is. Her words are: “Second Puberty is a bitch to deal with”. Those hormone changes are going to kick your arse! You’ll get over it though, just be prepared for it.

1. Start laser hair removal (or electrolysis) ASAP. It’s a big game changer, especially for face
2. Clothes u buy during early stage of transition, aka baby trans phase, u may grow out of them. For example, I used to wear more tight-fitting and feminine presenting clothes, but now that I’ve embraced my masculine side of me, I don’t wear the old style as much as before. This is also related to dressing appropriate to ur age.

Unrelated but i’m still not sure whether i want boobs. Yesterday i dreamed of having some and it felt good but then i wake up and can’t like it.

The two things I feel I’m knowledgeable enough about now to advise on are tucking and breast forms.

If you decide to try tucking, don’t go for a gaff right off the hop. They’re expensive and really only work after you’ve got a good technique down. The best option I use is 2 pairs of elastic cotton panties that are a size or two small, and practice with those until you feel you have it down. I’ve found period panties can be a good option as well.

There’s a couple different types of breast forms you can try. I use ones I crocheted with the pattern from knitted knockers in my day to day. They’re lightweight, breathable and stay put in my bra. The other type I’ve used are silicone. They’re a liquid silicone in a plastic sack essentially, so they have the weight and bounce of real breasts, but unless you have a pocket bra made for them, or use medical adhesive to glue them to your chest, they are prone to slip out. They also don’t allow your skin to breathe, so you need to give your skin a break between wearing them, no more than a day or two at a time.

Neither is required, but if you’re impatient or insecure about your body like me, they’re great options for making yourself look more feminine. Have fun discovering your new self! ❤️

A lot was already mentioned, so I’ll just add a couple of things. One resource I used to help me understand if I was trans was https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/

Laser can be very euphoric, and if you have the right skin tone/ hair color it can be very effective. Also, lots of places have packages that go on sale or Groupons.

voice training is something you can do wherever you are in your transition, and depending where you are / what insurance you can get a speech language pathologist that specializes (or at least is familiar with) in trans voice training.

Also adding on to the other suggestions about clothing, just be aware that your body changes shape on E, so clothing may start fitting differently as time passes if you end up doing hrt. For me trying cloths before hrt was not as euphoric until after my body started changing shape so if you do hrt it is something to look forwards to. It also can take a while for changes and they don’t necessarily happen in the same order for everyone. For me my boobs started growing in the first month but now it’s been over a year and I have just started noticing fat redistribution in my legs and face.

Social changes are similar and it’s up to you how quickly or slowly you go. For me it was a lot of pressure to explain to people what I was doing (especially because I am not doing a purely binary transition) and one of the best pieces of advice I got is that you don’t owe anyone, including people close to you, answers until you are ready to give them. Similarly you don’t have to be the one to explain what being trans means to you to every person that asks you. Overall, although it can be challenging, transitioning at your own pace can be really fun as you figure things out and get to decide a lot about who you are

Welcome! To save you all from me typing a novel like i usually do, i have answered a question like this in the past. Please feel free to run through my comments, theres quite a bit of advice in there (im trying to compile as much as i can into one source)

But the TLDR is start small! Makeup, nails, even taking care of your skin and hair can do wonders for your self image!

Biggest piece of advice i can give is to just not rush things. Take your time exploring yourself and figuring out your goals. But rushing things lead to giant feelings of anxiety, dysphoria, or other feelings that come from not being comfortable.

Welcome again, i hope you stay awhile! And no matter what happens with your journey we love you and support you ❤️❤️