I just wanna say to start this off…holy shit, do I look ugly! What happened? Did HRT make me uglier? Did I get even worse at taking pictures? 😭
I know that the small cut from shaving on my chin makes me waaay uglier, but god damn. I’m really, really freaking ugly…this is way worse than I thought. I’ll definitely be getting chin, jaw and forehead FFS in the future…

I took a walk yesterday wearing my red sweater that I got from mom upon coming out to her. I didn’t think this would work, but I took the advice from @gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone and wore shorts underneath the sweater.
And actually…not bad at all! I was giggling at my own shadow tho, because my sweater was just so damn flowy and it looked kinda funny. But honestly, this might be the most comfortable outfit yet! And it doesn’t look the worst either!

Now, ummm, me being me, I made this a bit indecent…meaning I wore nothing underneath the sweater, of course 😆. This, along with the strap from my bag, made my boobs very obvious for anyone who looked closely enough. Thankfully, there were no people around (this was at 12AM). Combined with the cold, my nipples were sticking straight out 😂. Surprisingly tho, the sweater kept me warm, even though I was wearing nothing underneath!
The proof is here for anyone who doesn’t believe me…

Thank you, everyone in this community. You’ve been nothing but kind to everyone posting here. The difference between Lemmy and Reddit is…just wow. Never going back to that place.
Thank you so much 💜. Everyone have a lovely day!
I’m going to go dysphorically cry about my stupid face and ugly body now 😭

  • Cris_Citrus (he/him <3) ( Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip ) English
    12·
    12 days ago

    I know it doesnt really help to hear, but the feeling ugly is some dysmorphia shit, you very sincerely dont read that way to anyone else. I have compliments to give but I’ll spare you the attempt at convincing, I know thats not the most helpful

    Sending hugs and love 🫂 the hoodie dress thing looks super cute on you

  • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
    3·
    12 days ago

    I don’t think HRT would’ve made you uglier, it’s probably just the warped perception of yourself, give it enough time and you’ll probably look back at these photos thinking you were prettier, I have photos that I definitely didn’t like when I took them but looking back are completely fine.

    I didn’t even notice the cut on your chin until you pointed it out, and no that’s pretty cute actually, it doesn’t make you uglier lol. You’re over focusing on the parts of yourself you don’t like, while most people see the whole, and that way you miss all the many pretty things that more than make up for it.

    Edit: Just for some clarification, when I say ‘the parts you don’t like’, I really mean it like that, other people don’t see them in the same way you do, just in case I came off wrong. Anyway, very pretty! <3

      • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ) English
        2·
        7 days ago

        Your face is about as feminine as one of my cis cousins’ (not the tomboy), and I’m sure she wishes she’d have hair like yours. Also, the sweater looks really luxurious. It’s rather loose − is your mum taller than you, or also enjoys oversized things like my sister who keeps “borrowing” my sweaters? I hope you made silly little dances to enjoy the silhouette cast by streetlights.

          • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ) English
            1·
            7 days ago

            There are many people who do hope you wake up tomorrow, and it looks like you find new ones every day! I’m one of them but this isn’t about me: I’m mainly glad that some of the physically closest ones are so supportive. Don’t think about the past, E is now in charge of your body and great things will happen to it as a result.

            And when you say mean things about your face, I’m wondering where that leaves my cousin, who is very nice and also has a loving BF. Your concerns are valid though and while I don’t think you need any facial surgery but if you do, you should start planning it. It looks like looking forward to your Thailand trip greatly reduced your dysphoria, which really needs to fuck off completely for your well-being. Depression is a bitch, I’m sure everybody who cares about you would love you to live without its shackles, and have whatever medication/surgeries you’d find helpful.

      • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
        2·
        12 days ago

        Your hair is feminine, I am super jealous of your body, your skin looks very smooth and fem, and your sense of style is very feminine. From what I can tell in your pictures your mannerisms are feminine, and didn’t you mention in a post that your hips sway when you walk?

        Your face doesn’t scream either way to me (like most people), but it does lean ever so slightly feminine, overall it is cute regardless, which is good, since your hair is very feminine. Again, I’d be shocked to see someone gender you masculine in public, there is not one overtly masculine feature I can point to in any of these pictures!

        Also I’m banning you from saying sorry to me, that’s it, no more!

          • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
            2·
            9 days ago

            I might be just silly cause I know I can be pretty socially unaware, but if I were to go by stereotypes, then in all your pictures you’re quite conserved/reserved(?), like you don’t try to take up a lot of space or make yourself seem bigger. I’m probably just grasping though.

            Also, never blame yourself for others misgendering you, at the very least no one is at fault, you don’t owe it to anyone to fit gender norms. I mean I’m out right now with pretty bad makeup ontop of a slight stubble since I only shaved yesterday evening, I don’t have the time to fix it so I just left it on, the wrong person could call me a slur probably, but that hasn’t happened yet, I’ve only noticed people being more certious to me than normal (twice since I left). Maybe it’s the area I live in, cause I did just pass the theatre and they had a whole charriot out with I think a couple people in drag, and a bunch of people all glammed up (sorry I just had to share that, not something you see everyday!)

            Edit: also, you’re welcome <3, always!

              • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
                2·
                9 days ago

                Yeah, the stubble sucks, but I manage, I’ll get laser one day!

                Thank you so much <3, just like you I wish to see it one day.

                Also you say you have love/hate relationship with your hair, but girl you don’t even know! I love it for the compliments but god is it ever difficult, that and I’m thinking of styling it different but unfortunately bangs are out of the question, they would be a nightmare to get right, by comparison to shaving though I don’t hate managing my hair, it’s frustrating but it’s not like I feel dysphoric styling it, and the maintenance is still reasonable.

                Anyway I’m glad you’re feeling better now

    • kivihiili ( kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
      7·
      11 days ago
      likely uncomfortable to read text

      maybe this is absolutely the wrong thing to say

      yup

      you’re being a little disrespectful to other women right now

      she isn’t

      but it’s also leaking a bit that you think the other women I know are ugly too, that you think of women in this way

      not how dysphoria works

      You want to be a big boobie slim build high cheekbone supermodel, I get it

      maybe she does, but it’s entirely possible she doesn’t; that’s not a reasonable assumption to make.

      I don’t think you’re ugly, but more importantly it doesn’t matter, because even if you were ugly, “ugly” women still matter, still have value, and deserve respect.

      in a perfect world this would be true, excepting that the word ugly would not have any reason to exist as it would. in this world though, self-perception and self-acceptance really do matter.

      but I feel you’ve also got a lot of internalized misogyny that’s not helping.

      thats not what misogyny is

      I’m sorry in advance for any negative impact I’ve caused

      your humility is respectable but does not mean much here otherwise. you said the words anyways, after all.

      this here reply is not given with any intention of hostility or ill-wishing. we wish you the best as we would with any others we’d talk with. we personally just find those words written very offputting and instilling of problematic attitudes, and choose to make our thoughts known, for we believe them to be worth consideration.

      • psycotica0 ( psycotica0@lemmy.ca ) English
        2·
        11 days ago

        Thank you for your response, and I don’t know enough to want to debate any of these points.

        I’ve edited my message to empty, and you can feel free to edit yours as well to scrub anything problematic that you quoted or eluded to, in an effort to spare others from having read it.