I just wanna say to start this off…holy shit, do I look ugly! What happened? Did HRT make me uglier? Did I get even worse at taking pictures? 😭
I know that the small cut from shaving on my chin makes me waaay uglier, but god damn. I’m really, really freaking ugly…this is way worse than I thought. I’ll definitely be getting chin, jaw and forehead FFS in the future…

I took a walk yesterday wearing my red sweater that I got from mom upon coming out to her. I didn’t think this would work, but I took the advice from @gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone and wore shorts underneath the sweater.
And actually…not bad at all! I was giggling at my own shadow tho, because my sweater was just so damn flowy and it looked kinda funny. But honestly, this might be the most comfortable outfit yet! And it doesn’t look the worst either!

Now, ummm, me being me, I made this a bit indecent…meaning I wore nothing underneath the sweater, of course 😆. This, along with the strap from my bag, made my boobs very obvious for anyone who looked closely enough. Thankfully, there were no people around (this was at 12AM). Combined with the cold, my nipples were sticking straight out 😂. Surprisingly tho, the sweater kept me warm, even though I was wearing nothing underneath!
The proof is here for anyone who doesn’t believe me…

Thank you, everyone in this community. You’ve been nothing but kind to everyone posting here. The difference between Lemmy and Reddit is…just wow. Never going back to that place.
Thank you so much 💜. Everyone have a lovely day!
I’m going to go dysphorically cry about my stupid face and ugly body now 😭

    • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
      2·
      14 days ago

      Your hair is feminine, I am super jealous of your body, your skin looks very smooth and fem, and your sense of style is very feminine. From what I can tell in your pictures your mannerisms are feminine, and didn’t you mention in a post that your hips sway when you walk?

      Your face doesn’t scream either way to me (like most people), but it does lean ever so slightly feminine, overall it is cute regardless, which is good, since your hair is very feminine. Again, I’d be shocked to see someone gender you masculine in public, there is not one overtly masculine feature I can point to in any of these pictures!

      Also I’m banning you from saying sorry to me, that’s it, no more!

        • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
          2·
          11 days ago

          I might be just silly cause I know I can be pretty socially unaware, but if I were to go by stereotypes, then in all your pictures you’re quite conserved/reserved(?), like you don’t try to take up a lot of space or make yourself seem bigger. I’m probably just grasping though.

          Also, never blame yourself for others misgendering you, at the very least no one is at fault, you don’t owe it to anyone to fit gender norms. I mean I’m out right now with pretty bad makeup ontop of a slight stubble since I only shaved yesterday evening, I don’t have the time to fix it so I just left it on, the wrong person could call me a slur probably, but that hasn’t happened yet, I’ve only noticed people being more certious to me than normal (twice since I left). Maybe it’s the area I live in, cause I did just pass the theatre and they had a whole charriot out with I think a couple people in drag, and a bunch of people all glammed up (sorry I just had to share that, not something you see everyday!)

          Edit: also, you’re welcome <3, always!

            • Azalea ( azalea_flower@lemmy.blahaj.zone ) English
              2·
              11 days ago

              Yeah, the stubble sucks, but I manage, I’ll get laser one day!

              Thank you so much <3, just like you I wish to see it one day.

              Also you say you have love/hate relationship with your hair, but girl you don’t even know! I love it for the compliments but god is it ever difficult, that and I’m thinking of styling it different but unfortunately bangs are out of the question, they would be a nightmare to get right, by comparison to shaving though I don’t hate managing my hair, it’s frustrating but it’s not like I feel dysphoric styling it, and the maintenance is still reasonable.

              Anyway I’m glad you’re feeling better now

    • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ) English
      2·
      9 days ago

      Your face is about as feminine as one of my cis cousins’ (not the tomboy), and I’m sure she wishes she’d have hair like yours. Also, the sweater looks really luxurious. It’s rather loose − is your mum taller than you, or also enjoys oversized things like my sister who keeps “borrowing” my sweaters? I hope you made silly little dances to enjoy the silhouette cast by streetlights.

        • ChaoticNeutralCzech ( ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ) English
          1·
          9 days ago

          There are many people who do hope you wake up tomorrow, and it looks like you find new ones every day! I’m one of them but this isn’t about me: I’m mainly glad that some of the physically closest ones are so supportive. Don’t think about the past, E is now in charge of your body and great things will happen to it as a result.

          And when you say mean things about your face, I’m wondering where that leaves my cousin, who is very nice and also has a loving BF. Your concerns are valid though and while I don’t think you need any facial surgery but if you do, you should start planning it. It looks like looking forward to your Thailand trip greatly reduced your dysphoria, which really needs to fuck off completely for your well-being. Depression is a bitch, I’m sure everybody who cares about you would love you to live without its shackles, and have whatever medication/surgeries you’d find helpful.