ive been transitioning for a while now and i still dont really feel comfortable using womens facilities. i really want to because it feels like a major milestone in my transition, but idk theres still a lot of feelings stopping me. mostly i guess im just really scared, especially with how political trans fems using womens facilities has become.
im curious, when did you finally start going in womens bathrooms and locker rooms? were you comfortable or was it scary? did it take a long time to get used to it? did you have any issues?
I’ve shared about bathroom before, I just kinda decided that’s what I was going to do. I’d only been on e for like 2 months and was just wearing dark sweatpants but I was masking all the time then and I have long hair and wear a cute hat. It was an office type building so the ladies room didn’t get much traffic. After the first time I realized I needed to be sitting down on the toilet. When I started doing that at home i realized that standing was actually dysphoric.
As for dressing room etc, actually I hadn’t had any experience with that till this camping trip. I’ve now used the shower in the ladies room twice. There’s only one and it has a curtain. The first time I went, I was definitely worried. I get these negative thought loops about what someone might say. There were a couple other ladies in the bathroom but they didn’t really see me. I kept my butt towards the curtain in case it accidently opened, and I called out asking if they needed the shower which probably wasn’t necessary. I self trained my voice before starting to transition so I am pretty comfortable with talking. The second time in the shower I was alone. It was awesome.
I think I am very lucky to be in a blue state in an area where generally people are affirming. Maybe I pass better than I think or maybe I been lucky. I know it’s much harder in other places in the US and my heart goes out to anyone in a bigoted state.
My advice is to be safe. But if it seems like it could work, don’t be afraid to try. If it’s a facility with a manager or something, try talking to them ahead of time to see if there’s ever been a problem. Of course, that means potentially outing yourself to a person of authority in the area.
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