Until people were startled that I was in the men’s

After the first year I’d say. I was fortunate that the places I worked and hung out at had individual genderless bathrooms. But after a year i went out somewhere that only had gendered public bathrooms. I had faced a lot of transphobia at work and just being out in public that I became bitter and a little confrontational. So I just said fuck it and used the women’s bathroom ready to defend myself if someone started shit (I did and still do carry pepper spray in case someone gets violent. I was lucky and when it came to bathrooms the most I got was nasty glares and someone “politely” saying I might have “accidentally entered the wrong bathroom” (I ignored her)

Granted I lived in New Hampshire most of my life which is safer than a lot of red states but slightly less so then blue states like our neighbor Massachusetts. So definitely assess the area you’re living in, especially if you live in a place with anti trans bathroom laws. I’d say if you wanna feel safer entering a women’s bathroom/locker room to carry something for defense and bring a friend.

After moving to a progressive city and starting to girl mode

I basically waited until I started malefailing, once people were calling me ma’am in a T-shirt and pants, I decided I could stop boymoding and just live life as me, which includes going into the ladies’ bathroom and other women’s spaces

I’m in the middle of slowly switching over. I haven’t dared to until a couple of months ago, until a cleaner in a public toilet corrected my mistake and pointed me to the women’s facilities. Since then, depending on how the surroundings feel, I’m slowly moving over.

When I started dressing really femme. Going into the men’s in a minidress is just as likely if not more likely to get me hate crimed than if I just use the women’s. I play it by ear from venue to venue whether I feel ok using the toilets at all.

I didn’t have the confidence to go to the women’s until I went camping one year and my wife or one of a frw friends would walk to the bathroom together, so I always had someone with me, and I knew the odds of running into anyone at the washroom in a mostly empty campground were crazy low. After that I slowly built more confidence as my hair grew and I got better at presenting femme. I still get a little nervous because it’s still not surprising if I get a dirty look, but it’s always from an older white woman.

The worst reaction I’ve ever noticed was a woman who stopped dead in her tracks as I came out of a stall and stared daggers at me until I was out of sight. The best way to deal with them is just ignore them, but be ready to defend yourself if they start shit, be it verbally of physically because the chances of that shit happening are low, but never 0. Taking a friend is a really good way to break the ice on it.

The first few times going to the womens bathroom were when I was at Restaurants with friends and dressing femme. It would have fehlt weird to go to the mens bathroom, so I waited until one of my girl firends needed to go and asked if I could come along, so I wouldn’t have to go alone. After doing this a few times and nothing bad happend it just became normal and I just stopped thinking about it.

As soon as I went full time fem, which was when I started presenting at work. That was ~20 months into my transition. Well, I’d used them a couple times before that when I was presenting fem in public, but I’d generally look for single occupancy or gender neutral bathrooms back then. It was a bit scary at first, but especially now that I have passing privilege, it’s just normal and slightly affirming. I’ve luckily never had any issues in women’s bathrooms, and I highly doubt I’d run into much issue in Seattle of all places, especially Capitol Hill lol

When I first started transitioning I used an app some coworkers were developing to help people with specific needs find suitable restrooms in the area. It wasn’t for trans people but it happened to only have single occupant restrooms so it was handy none the less.

After I was able to pass most of the time (unless I spoke) I started using the women’s restroom regularly. I never tried to use a locker room or anything like that though and still probably wouldn’t until bottom surgery. Even after a couple years I was still scared in public restrooms because I don’t really have a passing voice. It was especially stressful when I’d go in with someone else who tried to continue talking while we were in there.

A few years ago I was forced to move back in with my folks in Texas (previously I was in Michigan) and just don’t feel safe. I have used the women’s restroom on several occasions when it was an emergency, but I’ve shifted how I leave the house to make sure I’m not gone for more than a few hours and if I am to identify a business with single use restrooms or extremely crowded ones (like Buccee’s or Ikea or whatever). Texas has a law making it illegal for trans people to use the restroom of their identified gender in specifically state funded facilities, but most people think it’s any bathroom so I’d rather not get shot or have to deal with the cops.

Never in all my three years of transitioning (which is still apparently baby trans) :/

I use women’s restrooms. I started at within a month of starting HRT. I was afraid at first, so I would go to the furthest, most remote gendered restrooms, to avoid running into anyone. After about 3 months I started using the nearby women’s rooms. Haven’t entered a men’s room in well over a year. So far no issues.

I changed the gender marker on my license within days of starting HRT, and got an amended birth certificate a few months after. I belong there, and if anyone objects I have the paperwork to prove it.

Can’t speak for locker rooms, I don’t like gyms or sports. I would feel uncomfortable in any locker room. So no, but restrooms have been no issue at all.

Honestly the first time. I was in a fast food and an employee opened the women’s door bathroom for me. My inner self was panicked and went in inside. That was like stressful af. But at the same time wow very gender affirming ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა. I had a weird look from another woman saddly.

I still would love to make a proper thanks to that man but it’s far from home and not even sure he works there.

• Bathroom: Around when the HRT started kicking in, and I stopped boymoding around the same time too. These days I’ll use women’s restrooms basically anywhere in my purple state and haven’t really had issues yet.
• Locker rooms: I probably won’t ever do this until I get SRS. Which is unfortunate because I’m basically at the point where I’m mainly considering SRS for safety reasons and maybe not because I fully want it. I really want to do longer camping/backpacking trips again but can’t because I can’t get myself to use the public showers.

I’ve shared about bathroom before, I just kinda decided that’s what I was going to do. I’d only been on e for like 2 months and was just wearing dark sweatpants but I was masking all the time then and I have long hair and wear a cute hat. It was an office type building so the ladies room didn’t get much traffic. After the first time I realized I needed to be sitting down on the toilet. When I started doing that at home i realized that standing was actually dysphoric.

As for dressing room etc, actually I hadn’t had any experience with that till this camping trip. I’ve now used the shower in the ladies room twice. There’s only one and it has a curtain. The first time I went, I was definitely worried. I get these negative thought loops about what someone might say. There were a couple other ladies in the bathroom but they didn’t really see me. I kept my butt towards the curtain in case it accidently opened, and I called out asking if they needed the shower which probably wasn’t necessary. I self trained my voice before starting to transition so I am pretty comfortable with talking. The second time in the shower I was alone. It was awesome.

I think I am very lucky to be in a blue state in an area where generally people are affirming. Maybe I pass better than I think or maybe I been lucky. I know it’s much harder in other places in the US and my heart goes out to anyone in a bigoted state.

My advice is to be safe. But if it seems like it could work, don’t be afraid to try. If it’s a facility with a manager or something, try talking to them ahead of time to see if there’s ever been a problem. Of course, that means potentially outing yourself to a person of authority in the area.

🩷💜🩷