• It’s actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with ‘you’re smart enough, just try harder’ while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.

      • Most people just don’t understand that being really good at something doesn’t mean you can’t be terrible at something else. Like, I can problem solve a wide variety of things, but there are a few things that I just have no success at even if I know the problem and the likely solution.

        The most infuriating one for me is that if I can’t see something then I cannot line it up right. A screw or bolt out of view means I have a 50/50 chance of ever getting it started even though I know how I can move it to fit in. Like I know to tilt and whatever, but without a visual frame it becomes impossible. A ton of people just yell me I am not trying hard enough, even though attempting to learn for decades hasn’t worked out for me.

        But with even the slightest view I can get it started no problem. Being told I am not trying hard enough is infuriating when I am just being honest that it is my limitation.

    • The secret is we’re all gifted and talented in our own ways. Our society is structured to benefit and work for a specific kind of gifted and talented. You got to an early start, and then when it was determined your talents weren’t profitable, the problem was framed as you wasting them instead or the system failing you.

      Not to mention our current identification of gifted and talented is basically just “So you know how that one kid has ADHD and his lack of structure in their home life results in poor grades? Well we put them in the remedial class. There we will teach them coping and organization skills. Meanwhile, this other kid? They also have ADHD but we don’t realize it because their grades are fantastic. Turns out their home life is stressful in a specific way that means they get good grades, but they don’t really know why or what structure is helping them. I school we will put them in the gifted and talented class. There, they’ll be in an unstructured environment where they can learn and explore at their own pace and OH NO NOW THEY’RE ANXIOUS AND UPSET BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY WERE THRIVING IN THE STRUCTURE OF A REGULAR CLASSROOM”

      Our education system is not based on individual need and instead on assuming everyone is basically the same, just more or less advanced

        • I had a moment in elementary school I’m still working through. I was in 5th grade and reading a book I thought was really fun and exciting and I was enjoying it. My teacher pulled me aside one day to inform me I was underperforming my reading level because the book was written for a 3rd grade reading level and I was capable of reading at a 9th grade reading level. But here’s the thing: what 10-year-old wants to read a 9th grade set of books? What 10-year-old wants to read To Kill a Mockingbird?

          I honestly haven’t had the enthusiasm or fervor for reading ever since. I’ve had bouts of being able to focus on reading for a few months at a time, but the energy always burns out after a while. It’s something I have to focus on when I’m in a book store or library that most of the printed word is, at the end of the day, schlock, and that’s a GOOD THING. We all like schlock-y things. Whatever schlock that it is that you’re into, you’re into it. Maybe you like three camera sitcoms even though the laugh track is cheesy. It could be you like superhero movies, even though Marvel puts out 3 a year, and it’s hard to keep up with them and everyone you know has been less enthusiastic about them ever since Endgame. Perhaps you love video games, but you spend some time every day investing time into a completely non-challenging game on your phone. I’d even include foodies who go to Taco Bell every so often. We all have non-challenging schlock that we enjoy and consume, and that’s OKAY. It’s what makes the non-schlock elevate itself to a higher level when you experience it.

          So bottom line.

          Don’t let anyone detract your schlock. They have their schlock, you don’t judge them for it. Love your schlock unironically. You’re beautiful and perfect, and so is your schlock.

  • This is funny, but even the most intelligent people are inflicted with this. Don’t let it keep you down, we cannot be good at everything.

    Its been consistently self-reported by Harvard students. And another effect is present, too - excellence leads to being placed in competitive environments, where everyone else is just as excellent. And this can make brilliant people feel stupid.

    • Intelligence also doesn’t necessarily translate to actual success. I’ve been through numerous assessments as a child that confirmed I am comfortably in the “green zone” (if measured by IQ, that is), but I also have pretty severe ADHD so I can only really make use of my brain for short periods of time.

      I can get a week’s worth of work done in a day, but only once a week, and I spend the rest of the week wondering where I’d be if only I could work like that every day. I was also a decent student in school/uni but never near the top of the class, because I couldn’t bring myself to study for anything more than a few days before the exam.

    • Well, there necessarily need to also exist below average Harvard students. Its probably more of a shock to have the one thing you might have been proud of, being rather smart, be taken away once you get there and realize you are probably at most average and have to find a new identity

    •  mayo   ( @mayo@lemmy.today ) 
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      I think a good part of that is because ‘average human’ is not a good way to represent who we are individually. I’m probably above average at specific things but in many other respects I’m average or below or wherever I’m supposed to be. Maybe most people are above average even though on average most of us are average.

      Fully above average people IMO are like astronauts and stuff. We all live in the shadow of that former navy seal/doctor/astronaut who is like 45 or some crazy shit.

    • This really depends on the distribution. If some or all of the people in that bottom 20% are very, very stupid it could actually work out that 80% are above average, because the average is being pulled down by the people at the bottom.

      This is why we have different averages like mean, median, mode, and RMS because they each give you different interpretations of the raw data. For example the mean electro motive force of the grid is around 0 volts because it spends as much time in the negative as the positive. We use RMS here because negative numbers become positive when squared.

  • Ah, I see the stereotype of everyone thinking of themselves as “lazy genius” is something we’ve carried over from Reddit. We’re all above average intelligent and could really achieve something if we just bothered to work hard and apply ourselves!

    lol

    • Yeah, one of the most important epiphanies I’ve ever had is realizing I’m not a lazy genius, I’m just lazy. It was a rude awakening to realize that I need to work twice as hard to keep up. But it was probably the best thing to happen to me!

  • Fun fact: programs for gifted kids have historically been far more underfunded than programs for other exceptional students.

    By the way, the euphemism of “exceptional children” pleases my autistic brain way more than any other word for Special Education students. It has all the compliment-sounding qualities of “Special Needs” but is even more literal than any previous euphemism. It literally means “kids that teachers need to make exceptions for”

    • “Gifted” programs royally screwed my education. I had huge gaps in my knowledge because they decided that being top percentile in reading/writing (and being the weird kid) meant I could just skip out on classes for special little weird classes or sit with higher grade classes. I just had ADHD btw and really liked to read. Anyway, I would LOVE to know wtf they thought they were doing moving a kid around that much in 3rd-5th. I suffered the hardest with math. I was missing bits and pieces, which is pretty gd important in math, and I’d still somehow get the answers right but talked to about my overly complicated or ✨creative✨ solutions lol. Even now I hide my work if I need to solve something because I’m probably doing it weird… Then later it was really fun finding out that I couldn’t really live up to being “gifted”. 0/10 being special made me less educated.

      • For what it’s worth, math can be taught very linearly, but I think it can be explored and approached many different ways. I did the same thing, the teachers would say “I don’t know how, but you got the right answer”.

        I kind of wish we leaned more into the way individual kids intuitions of math worked, I think you could teach the foundations much faster that way.

        3-5 is mostly arithmetic and intro to word problems anyway, I’m awful at arithmetic but it doesn’t affect doing any of the important parts of math.

    • I get what you mean… though, I feel like an IQ test is a biased test, I took one as a teenager and scored high. Which was a morale boost at the time, but a few months later I had medical problems and ended up having a stroke and had to basically start all over with speech, motor and memory.

      Sure, I survived. But I went through every therapy, started back up and realized I wasn’t close to what I was before. Which was crushing, sure I knew it wouldn’t be the same and I’m still above average, but the latent memories of my capabilities before constantly haunt me.

      I didn’t mean to depress anyone, just enjoy the blue zone if at all possible. I constantly try remembering, it can get worse. /hug

    • Yes, this is funny, but anyone worth knowing in a PhD program will quote Hawkings at you if you take the green part too seriously.

      “Only losers brag about their IQ.”

      Or Thomas Edison (and yes, he was actually a decent engineer before he realized how much easier it is to just own a company)

      “Great accomplishments depend not so much on ingenuity as on hard work.”

    • As you get older, you sort of get used to the fact that the majority of your fellow passengers are oblivious to the fact we’re on a bus speeding towards a cliff, driven by depravity and delusions of grandeur. And you realize short of a miracle, nothing is going to change it. It’s either that or you go mad. ¯\(ツ)

    • I avoided it by coasting, they did testing in kindergarten and I realized fast I didn’t want the attention. Especially being treated like a trophy by my dad.

      Do I regret coasting now, of course. Do it for your self-confidence, later in life you’ll be happier you did.