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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • Ready to jump off of a fucking cliff.

    • Last week, Roommate loses extraordinary amount of money to a scammer. We ended up behind on rent and were served an eviction notice. Dealing with a rent bank now.

    • Last week is also my 31st birthday and I end up having a gout flare up. Because you know. That’s fun. I usually have to walk with a cane because of a worthless knee but now I get to add a worthless foot on the other leg so yay.

    • Couldn’t afford food or medication or really anything. Not as much of a problem at the moment but the stress still exists and having to plan for next month when the same situation is likely going to happen.

    • This morning I got off the toilet and put pressure on the wrong part of my foot. Instant agony and I shift balance to the other foot but it’s not in a position to support my weight. Grab for something to steady myself and all I grab is the toilet seat which gets part of it ripped off of the toilet. So now I have to buy a fucking toilet seat as well. I am hobbling right now. It takes me 30 seconds to move to the bathroom which is next door to my bedroom. Normally that’s like… 3 seconds. So god knows when i’ll be able to go out and get a toilet seat. So that’s gonna end up with me positioned weirdly for the next week until this dies down.

    • New chest pain that is not fun and god knows what the fuck is happening there but I can’t see a doctor about it anytime soon. It’s not 911 level of emergency. It’s more of a nagging thing that comes and goes and feels muscular but still.

    • What is scary is heart has been doing a thing. Beating it’s own samba every now and again.

    • I wrote myself into a corner with my DnD campaign and now I don’t know what the fuck to do. We have a session tonight which will be finishing up a oneshot from before but still. I don’t know what i’m gonna do and I can’t think straight.

    Please someone put me out of my misery.




  • I’m not going to lie. I had the same issue with the klingons at first. Not over their appearance, funnily enough. I thought it was an interesting take and considering the fact that klingons in TOS just looked like dudes I waved away an alien race looking a bit different. The thing that enraged me was the language. Either the dude who played T’kuvma had no time to practice Klingon or he had a truly terrible false teeth set that made it impossible for him to speak Klingon.

    I did completely discount Discovery until Season 2 started and I decided to give it another shot by starting from the top. I’m so very glad I did. I have critiques of all the shows, and I mean OG and Nu, but I still love them all the same. Me being a gay dude and finally getting proper representation in Star Trek does mean that Discovery did get into my good graces very quickly. It’s just nice to see a character that’s like me for a change instead of sitting through the 17 trillionth heterosexual love story.


  • shiny

    The roads, the bridges, the healthcare system, the airports, the rail system, the ports, the housing system, the education system, people of color, any minorities, the electoral system, the unions, the job market, the credit rating, and any government department that isn’t military would disagree with that assessment. Only thing shiny in the US is the military and the police.

    It just outright is a third would country and has the obsession with state sanctioned killing to prove it.


  • Honestly the constant bitching about ‘NuTrek’ is what makes me avoid Star Trek fans most of the time. I can rattle off episode names, quote the show, cite lines in episodes. Hell, I technically worked on a Trek show. Nothing makes me more embarassed than the incessant bitching and whining about how the new stuff isn’t canon or how it supposedly breaks canon or how the writing sucks. People who have legitimate criticisms, voice them as such, but are still polite or at least optimistic? You people are heroes. But the rest of you who just throw stuff at the show and say how it sucks? Fuck y’all. We are getting new Star Trek after the franchise being abandoned for years and your first reaction is to bitch and whine.

    Hell yes it’s all canon. Hell yes the animation is amazing. I have a UFP flag on my wall and I’m proud of it.


  • I’ma be real, it’s a mixed bag. A lot of things have gone drastically wrong, even one going so far as to make me unable to walk. Yet I’ve had like two things that shocked me and made life slightly more tolerable.

    Mostly I just want a hug. Was my birthday a couple days ago and I realized it’d been 13 years since I’ve had a hug. Broke me a little.






  • I have never felt joy or happiness enough to have a basis to even say how to ‘enjoy’ something. Don’t think I ever actually have enjoyed something. I enjoy being distracted from my life, but I couldn’t care less what it is that I’m doing or watching. Only as long as it works.

    As for being resilient, I take no pride in finding out that my bones won’t break. I don’t want to be the Atlas of holding up my own wasteland of a world. I don’t want to be strong. I don’t want to have to find out that I’m strong. Why can’t I just be? Why does everything have to be a test? What the fuck is the point of passing every test when it’s only the same thing forever? Unrelenting attempts to snap me in half?

    Resilient means that you can survive things far more than is the norm. Surviving isn’t living though. I’ve tried to end my own life and I’m too resilient for even myself. This is what I mean by praying for the strength to kill myself.





  • It isn’t.

    If you weigh the good that organized religion provides compared to the bad it outputs then it’s not even a question. Note that I say organized religion. Individual religion is not a problem but the second that you’re actively trying to influence various people, or governments, around the world? Then you’re just a cult with a franchise. Not to mention the fact that if you’re using your religion as a guide as to how you should feel about people different than you? Well you’re probably a bad person.

    As a gay dude I’ve only seen people use religion as a justification for their hate of me. I’ve seen church people change their minds when they found out I was gay and in need of help.