I would love to eat meat replacements on a more regular basis, but impossible and beyond burgers are more expensive than actual meat where I live. So I just don’t buy them. If the technology /economies of scale actually manage to make them cheaper than meat, I’d replace 80% of my meat consumption.
Saying this as an ethnically Chinese person who is not being racist… I had a eufy robovac and when I discovered it was Chinese-owned and had a video camera installed on it… I immediately got rid of that thing. I don’t trust any technology company owned by China to be able to see into my home.
This is actually amazing and really helpful???!!! That’s exactly my issue with willpower. I try to force everything and when I fail I blame it on my moral failing as a lazy POS.
When I’m really struggling it’s annoying to have people call me strong or resilient. I mean technically I am strong but it feels like a curse. I don’t want to be strong. I want it to be easier.
The worst one, though, THE WORST, is when they say “I don’t know how you do it/live like this.”
Uuuuhhhh, if I had a choice I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t do it. I have no choice. The only way out is through.
Thank you! I am tough. The last 3 years have been harder than I could’ve ever fathomed, but I’m still trucking on. There’s a lot more to me than depression, even though it swallows everything sometimes.
I literally fantasize about having enough space in my home for a chest freezer.
This week is the first week I’ve felt halfway close to being a human being in a really long time. My rTMS treatment for depression is finally starting to kick in. This is my 3rd round now and each time I see significant improvements, but they only last 4ish months and I relapse horrifically after.
My most recent relapse lasted 3ish months while I was scrambling to get treatment (and an unsuccessful Ketamine trial). I finally found a hospital willing to treat me, and also give me maintenance treatments so hopefully I don’t relapse again.
It’s just been hell for a while. Last weekend I finally felt the gears in my brain “click”. I am capable of experiencing positive emotions again. I still feel emotionally dead a lot of the time, but at least I don’t want to die anymore (for now).
It feels good to not be in excruciating pain. It feels good to have less disordered thinking. I look back and it feels like I was a different person, I don’t even understand or recognize that person.
Anyways, I’m just… Trying to take a breather. Trying to fully experience the moment. I don’t know how things will go in the long term, but I know the next couple of months will continue to be livable. Trying to be grateful for that, and not think too much about what comes next.
Agreed, in my opinion asking for safe spaces is not entitlement. It’s people who feel most comfortable (safe) with the status quo, who think others are entitled for also wanting to feel safe.
Now I have depression so it’s slightly different than a physical disability, but I have been on disability for 2 years and some days am completely debilitated.
The biggest thing that helps me is just meeting myself where I am, and accepting and working with my restrictions rather than fighting them. One example is I try to make meals for my boyfriend and I since I’m not working right now. But for the last couple of months I’ve been extra sick and so groceries go bad in the fridge, I eat nothing or trash or order in which is super expensive.
And finally I decided to stop forcing myself to cook only to fail, and now I buy tons of preprepared foods and meal replacement powders. It’s not as healthy as home cooked, but it’s better than McDonald’s or chips, and I don’t spend as much money ordering delivery.
I’d tell me in high school to get treatment for depression instead of white knuckling my way through life and ending up with treatment resistant depression at 28 because I went without for so long.
As a Chinese person I actually think they’re more Korean-inspired, not Chinese. And the devs are Korean, so it doesn’t seem disrespectful.
Thank you so much. I feel your big hug and it’s appreciated. I do have a therapist I see for my depression and ptsd. I will definitely talk about this with her.
Your empathy stretches beyond even the topic at hand. You hit the nail on the head when you say that suffering added on to existing suffering makes everything more complicated.
If I were mentally healthy right now I think I would process my sexual identity more easily. But for 3 years I’ve been struggling with annihilating depression.
Writing this is also a helpful reminder that I’m not in the best spot to figure it all out right now, and that I don’t have to. I can sit with these somewhat complicated feelings for now and wait for when I’m healthier to open the box. At least I’ve acknowledged the box for now, instead of shoving it in the closet (har har).
Thank you again for your empathy and kindness. Really.
My boyfriend is, thank god, the most supportive and loving person I know. I have talked to him about it a bit… It’s just a lot and I haven’t wrapped my head around it myself. Making this post and everyone’s input has actually been helpful to me. I do want to talk about it more with him, and I know he’ll love and accept me no matter what.
I love space but I know I’ll never be an astronaut and go there, yet that doesn’t make my desire to see the stars any less real and valid.
I actually love this and it legitimately makes me feel better lol
I’ve had persona 5 on my wishlist foreeeeeeever but even on sale it’s so expensive.
Honestly I played it for the first time last year and… It’s good but I don’t understand the hype? The story in 2022 didn’t blow my mind. Definitely fun and I still recommend though.
Off the top of my head I feel like reframing as POC instead of white-identifying would ask the same question, but be less inflammatory to white people who are afraid of the word “white”.
Tbh though the reality is those who are focusing on the pedantic word instead of the intent are likely looking for a reason to be unhappy… But asking for POC identification is more in line with what I’m used to seeing in diversity reports (admittedly white VS non-white is a bit… Blunt).
(edit for adding that white vs non-white being off-putting for a biracial person with mixed feelings on their race actually makes a lot of sense)
I like to say that everyone deserves white privilege… Including white people! Thanks for showing up and trying to be a good person!
Exactly on the identity piece, although I do kind of feel like I missed out. I keep thinking about all the times I felt attraction and ran away from it 😅
But I’m with the love of my life too, so, I guess I just move on.
Between this and Northwestern, I’m so glad student journalism is getting a spotlight!